Tuesday, November 18, 2014

David Stories

                                               
My childhood home as it is today
                                                          11/9/14 - "David Stories"

     Blogger's Note:  Notice the picture at the top?  That's my childhood home.  Now, it looks a bit different than I remember it.  We had just planted the tree in the front yard (I recall getting a running start and jumping over it).  I don't remember the colorful tree in the backyard; it must be new.  The roof was shingled, and there wasn't a handrail on the front steps.  Also, that waist-high, chain-link fence to the side of the house wasn't there, either.  The shed in the back was much newer as my mom had that built.  The field looks about the same, and it led to the tree-lined creek that was my playground.  The concrete driveway was in better shape; my hand-prints should still be pressed into the back edge and into the concrete back patio.  But, I have more than nostalgic reasons for including this picture in today's post.
     Well, I suppose it serves as a visual aid for today's feature; but, more importantly, it solves a dilemma I was having.  You see, I just started using Pinterest, and I have little to no understanding of how it works yet.  But, I've discovered that if you wish to share a "pin" then there needs to be a picture that it uses as the "pin".  So, I've gone back and added some pictures to some of my older posts that didn't already include images.
     I do think that having at least one image in each post is a good thing.  Sometimes, the task can be difficult.  For example, I certainly don't have any futuristic pictures of Alanaka's world; and, despite a valiant effort, I haven't been able to Google myself into finding any photographic treasures of Paducah or the mall or downtown back in the 80's and early 90's.  So, sometimes, I have to be clever.  For example, in "First Love", I added a picture of an '89 Chevy Cavalier like the one that I drove in high school.  It wasn't, of course, a picture of my car.  But it was very similar to that.  Other times, I just add an image that reminds me of that day's post or just something that I consider to be iconic to Parenting with Lightsabers.
     Also, if you go back, sometimes you'll find an image that is no longer there.  This problem really perplexed me.  I didn't understand why some images would stick around and others would disappear after about a week.  And then I discovered a correlation.  The ones that disappeared had come from Facebook.  I employ different measures to find images:  Facebook, Google +, off my hard drive, searching the web, other people's pages etc.  I don't think that Facebook and Google + much like each other; they are competitors after all.  And this is a Google website.  I think Google boots Facebook images after a span of time.  So, from here on out, I'm going to stop using images that I borrow from Facebook (or at least I'll upload them first).  Hopefully that will solve that problem.
     So, now, let's get to today's feature.  Who is "David" and why would I be telling stories about him?  David was a classmate, and he lived about a block away.  We didn't play together a lot, really.  But, I can recall almost every time that we did, because he would end up doing something every time that was just... well, so David..
     You may recall him as the Baby Powder Bandit from "The Simplest Lessons".  At the beginning of every school year, he would be in so much trouble from the teachers that we wondered if he would live to see the next day.  But, by the end of each school year, he would get away with murder, as the teachers just seemed to give up.  No punishment seemed to phase him.
     When I run in to some of my old classmates, we usually end up sharing a David Story.  In fact, I just ran into my old pal, Damon, the other day.  He was telling me one.  David had brought a fishing pole to school (it must have been towards the end of the school year when the teacher had grown exhausted from trying).  He had wanted to practice his casting during class (understandable, right?).  Every time the teacher would turn around, he would cast it across the room and then reel it in.  I don't really have any more to the story than that; and, knowing David as I do, I really don't need any.  That just about sums it up.
Cavity Creeps attacking!
     So, let's get to it.  Here's a few of my David Stories...
     Listening to:  "David Essex" Rock On

     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     Mom was cleaning the kitchen as my brother and I lay on the living room floor.  Our elbows were dug into the shag carpet, and our chins were propped by the palms of our hands.  The Super Friends narrator had just declared that our favorite show "would be right back after these important messages!"
     An alarm had sounded in Toothapolis, and the Crest team was assembling to defend their city as the Cavity Creeps began mobilizing just outside the city's walls.  "Cavity Creeps attack!!!" one of the monsters rallied just as another Thud.  Thud.  Thud. shook the walls.
     "I don't know what you boys are doing in there, but it needs to stop right now!!!"  Mom shouted from her mopping duties in the kitchen.  Shawn and I looked at each other inquisitively.  If she wasn't making that sound, and we weren't making that sound then...
     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     The pictures on the wall vibrated even harder this time.  Mom stepped out of the kitchen and looked around suspiciously.  Shawn and I sat up looking around.  What was going on?  Where was that sound coming from??
     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     "That's coming from the roof!" Mom exclaimed.  We stood up, dismayed at the confusing turn of events.  Mom opened the front door, hurrying outside.  Shawn and I stood, cautiously weighing our options:  step outside to investigate this strange phenomenon or run and hide under the bed.  We carefully opted to watch from the safety of the doorway as our mother stepped onto the front porch just as another Thud.  Thud.  Thud. rocked the entire house.
     Mom turned around, looked up, and shouted.  "David!!!  What are you doing up there!?!  You're going to fall and break your neck!!  Get down right now!!!  How did you get up there!?!?"  Now, Shawn and I ran outside, turned around, and, finally, saw the culprit.  David was jumping on our roof and laughing.  We had a small house, but our shingled roof was rather steep.  That looked perilous!
     Our heads turned in unison as we watched a smirking David casually walk across our roof, attach himself to our antenna pole, and slide down.  He was smiling as he rounded the corner of our house.  "David!  Don't you do that again!" our mother warned him,
     "Wanna come see my two-story tree house?" David asked me, seemingly deaf to my mother's admonition.  I didn't even pause to consider.  With an entrance like that, how could I say no?  I'd catch this Saturday-morning episode of the Super Friends on a rerun.  The summer day was already getting too nice to stay inside, anyway.  I grabbed my shoes, threw them on, and ran outside.  "You coming?" I asked my younger brother.  Shawn  just shook his head wearing an incredulous look that clearly said that he thought I must be an idiot to go with that crazy kid.
     "Don't you boys get into any trouble!" Mom warned as we began walking up the street and to the end of the block where David lived.
     "Is it really two stories?" I asked him as I imagined how a two-story tree house might look.  I had decided that there must be a spiral staircase and a pole to slide back down and a string that operated a lever that opened a gate that...
     Upon arrival, I realized that it was nothing like I had imagined.  I mean, it wasn't bad; it just wasn't what I had imagined.  A ladder of wooden planks had been nailed into the tree in his backyard and ended just below a rickety floor of miscellaneous boards.  Another level of wood scraps served as a roof; I didn't see a second level.
     "Hey, Heather!" David called to the street that ran beside his house.
     Heather, another classmate of ours, was riding her bike; she was probably headed home from Angie's house.  She waved.
     "Wanna see my two-story tree house?" David called to her.  Heather circled her bike around but didn't respond.  She, knowing David, appeared suspicious.  "Come on, I'll show you real quick!" he persuaded.
     Heather looked at me, and I shrugged.  She got off her bike and pushed it across the ditch and into David's yard.  She had one of those girl's bikes, with a banana seat and long handlebars and streamers on the handles.  She carefully placed the kickstand with her foot and parked her bike next to the road.  I never understood girls.  Why didn't she just let it fall to the ground and come running like we did?  Everyone knew that kickstands were just for looks, anyway!
     Once Heather joined us, David didn't waste time with pleasantries.  He began climbing, one rickety rung at a time.  He pulled himself over the ledge and disappeared into the tree house.  After a brief moment, David's head peeked out.  "C'mon you guys!"
     Heather and I looked at each other.  "You go first," she suggested.  I looked up at David and back at her.  I considered, briefly, to insist that she go first; but, I mustered my courage and grabbed one of the planks.  Carefully, I scaled the tree, making sure to maintain at least three points of contact.  At the top, David offered his hand to escort me into the niche; but, I declined.  I didn't think he'd pull a prank in such a precarious situation, but why take chances?  I, not being fond of heights, delicately anchored myself on what appeared to be a sound board and hauled myself onto the makeshift mezzanine.
     "Ok, your turn Heather!" David called down.  I could see the resignation in her eyes.  She carefully followed my lead, copying my example with prudence.  When at last she surmounted the base, I could almost hear her sigh of relief.
     "Ok, now to the second floor!" David announced.  He turned to climb a single plank that had been nailed into the trunk behind us and used the foothold to scale himself onto the roof.  Heather and I shared a look of apprehension.  If I was going to be able to tell anyone that I had been in a two-story tree house, then I would have to duplicate the feat.
     A familiar Thud.  Thud.  Thud.  from above was David's way of saying, "C'mon!"  I tried not to think about it.  I used the single handhold and finagled myself to the uppermost level.  I all but hugged the floor while we waited for Heather to join us.  I must admit I was surprised when her head surfaced.  She clambered onto the roof and mimicked my crouched position.  David smiled and looked around for something.  "Watch this!" he instructed.
     The "second story" had been situated where the tree had split into two lesser trunks.  A single two-by-four stretched between these two anchors and served as a rail.  David ducked under the rail; and, to demonstrate how unafraid he was, he would grab the board and then let go, grab it, then let go.  When we would gasp, his smile would widen with satisfaction.  "David!  Stop it!" Heather yelled at him like I had wanted to.
     "You mean stop doing this?" He would pretend to fall and then grab the rail at the last second.  We just closed our eyes and quit watching him.  Hopefully, the lack of an audience would end the charade.
     "Help!" David screamed.
     When I looked up, David was dangling over the side.  He was gripping the floor to the second story and screaming.  "David!  Stop!  I'm telling your dad!" Heather screamed.  I didn't know if I should help him or stay away.  I was afraid that if I influenced his concentration in any way, he might lose his grip and fall to his doom.
     David laughed as he pulled himself up and back onto the upper "floor".  He slid under the board that served as a rail, chuckling as he rolled over and stood.
     "Let's get down," Heather suggested to me.  I was squatting in order to keep four points of contact with the tree house; heights, apparently, just weren't my thing.  Heather took my wide eyes and emphatic nodding as affirmation.
     "I'll just go down this way," David bantered.  He slid under the rail, gripped the floor, and, once again, hung over the side.  I thought for a moment that he knew a trick to get back to the "first" floor, but he just hung there as Heather persuaded.  "David, get back up here.  That's not funny."
     I could hear David chuckling, and I wondered how much longer he was going to continue the ruse.  I was anxious to climb back down, and Heather clearly was as well.  But we didn't want to just leave him there.
     He began to pull himself back up, paused, and then slackened his arms.  He paused, then tried again.  "David, quit messing around and get back up here!" Heather insisted.
     "I can't," he panted.
     The suspicious part of my brain didn't believe him.  That was David speaking, after all; he had "gotten" me so many times that anything and everything he said was suspect.  But, something deeper still nagged at me.  David really was in trouble.
     Heather and I exchanged a glance; we could see in each other's eyes that we were thinking the same thing.  Then, simultaneously, we fell to our knees.  She grabbed one arm, and I grabbed the other.
     "C'mon, David," I pleaded, trying to lift him.  As my sight drifted over the edge, I saw how far up we were.  From this height, if David were to fall, he would be in big trouble.  He might just break a leg if he was really lucky.  If he was really lucky...
     "Grab his wrists and pull him up," Heather suggested.  I wrapped my hand around his wrist and... oh, cool, he had a Pac-Man watch!  I had been wanting...
     "Duane!!!" Heather shouted, pulling me back into reality.  Her shout gave me an idea.
     "HELP!!!!" I yelled.  Heather joined the chorus.  "HHHEEELLLPPP!!!"
     David meekly attempted the plea, but he was justifiably concerned about his grip.
     "This isn't going to work," Heather decided.  And she was right.  We weren't going to be able to pull him up, and he didn't have enough strength left to do it himself.  "Can you hold him by yourself?  I'm going to get his dad," Heather outlined.
     I lay on my belly and wrapped both of my hands around his wrists.  "Please hurry," I begged her.  She didn't waste any time.  Moving more quickly than I could have, she navigated back to the "first" floor and started down the precarious rungs.
     While I strained and waited, neither David nor myself spoke.  I could hear him grunting laboriously.  If I had just stayed home, I'd be finding out how Green Lantern got his ring back from that nefarious Legion of Doom.  Instead, I was stuck, straining to maintain a grip on the imp that had ruined my morning.  Please hurry, Heather!
     I flipped my head over, resting my other cheek on the hard wood; sweat had begun to bead on my forehead.  From this angle, I could see the corner of David's house.  Like a drink of fresh, spring water, Heather rounded it, pointing up at us.  Strolling casually behind her, seemingly unaffected by Heather's urgent appeals to hurry, David's father glanced up at us.  He disappeared out of my view, and I could hear him climbing beneath me.  "I ought to let you fall," he nonchalantly expressed.  "I told you this was eventually going to happen if you kept doing it."
     Suddenly, David was pulled from my grip.  I feared for a moment that he had fallen, but I soon realized that his father had grabbed him from the "first" floor and hauled him to safety.  I took a moment to breathe and then began to climb down.
     "Get in the house," David's father scolded as David meandered toward his house with his head down.  Heather waited for me to climb down.
     Back on the ground, we just looked at each other and shook our heads.  We walked to her bike, and she steered it back onto the street.  "See you later," she said as she climbed on and rode away.
     "See you later," I echoed.  There just wasn't anything else to say...
 
     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     I was sitting on the floor next to the front door struggling to stretch a tennis shoe over the heel of my foot when the signature "knock" began.  Mom had told us that she was going to be doing some yard work today, and she wasn't going to have us tearing up the house inside while she was working outside.  So, Shawn and I had thrown on some old clothes and were preparing to tackle an unusually warm, Autumn day.
     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     Mom came marching past me and yanked the door open.  She looked like she was going to rip David a new asshole.
     Just as she took her first step outside, she screamed.  Mom didn't scream like typical girls; it was sort of a hodgepodge of indistinct words that garbled loudly from her throat.  As she jumped back inside, the first decipherable word came into focus.  "...DDDAAAVVVIIIDD!!!"
     Anxious to see what had frightened her so badly, Shawn and I scrambled to the front door.  Stretched out on the porch, a snake, as long as I was tall, laid with unblinking, sinister eyes.  Its mouth was unhinged to display fangs that I didn't want to go anywhere near.  Mom gathered her wits and finally stepped past the dead reptile.  She turned around  and looked up to address our guest.
     "David, you get down from there right now!  I'm going to tell your dad!  Did you know you can die from a poisonous snake if you get scratched by one of the fangs?  You can!  Where did you find that thing?" she scolded.
     Shawn and I had come outside with Mom.  We watched as David took his familiar stroll across our roof and casually slid down the antenna pole.  "I found it in the creek behind the telephone station," he revealed.  "Don't worry it's dead."
     My brother and I inspected the enormity of the thing.  We played in that creek nearly every day and had rarely seen a snake back there.  I'd be practicing some caution the next time we were gallivanting through those woods.
     "You guys wanna do something?" David addressed me and Shawn.
     "The first thing you need to worry about is getting that snake off my porch!" Mom threatened.
     David grabbed it by the tail, walked down the front steps, and headed to the field behind our house.  Shawn and I hurried to keep up; snake-handling wasn't something you saw everyday in our small town of Brookport.
     The three of us crossed the field to the tree line where we descended the bank.  A familiar smell of dried mud and dead fish flavored our entrance; I knew that, within minutes, our nostrils would forget the unpleasant odor.  David drug my mother's "gift" through the dried creek bed and found an isolated spot near the fence-line where we rarely played.  He discarded it there with little fanfare and wiped the palms of his hands on his breeches.  Shawn and I, abruptly bored, looked at him as if to say, 'now what?'
     He walked past us without comment, toward the other bank that I called the White Castle.  He climbed the worn path out of the creek bed and into the field that sat adjacent to ours.  It was separated by a small ditch that could be jumped easily.  My brother and I followed him, wondering how he was going to entertain us.
     Searching the tree line for something interesting, he kicked at a scrap of metal and left it where it landed.  We were coming up on an amorphous part of the creek where we had tossed old tires and cinder blocks into its murky and stagnant water to create a bridge of sorts so that we would have access to a pile of tin that someone had stacked on the other side.  We had intended on making a clubhouse out of that tin one day, but I don't believe that we ever did.  Mostly because I had a better idea...
     In the side of the bank next to the White Castle, I had been using several makeshift tools to dig a hole into the earth.  I hadn't gotten very far yet, but I would.  I was going to dig out a large room big enough for all of my friends to hang out; I even had a flashlight that I had hidden in a tangle of roots nearby that we would use for lighting once my project was completed.  It probably needed new batteries by now, but I'd get those when I was ready for it.
     Once the room was finished, I had an even grander idea.  I'd make a series of tunnels that veined throughout the whole town.  I could go anywhere in secret, and everyone would wonder how I got to places so quickly and so covertly.  I had explicit plans to make an exit in my friend Brian's backyard.  He lived just a couple of houses down from the school.  I could pop out in his backyard right before it was time for class.  His mother would probably be doing dishes and looking out the back window.  She'd blink and there I'd be, seemingly out of nowhere.  I'd just casually knock on the door and ask for Brian; and, when she asked where I'd come from, I'd just shrug.  I was really clever sometimes!
     I picked up my digging stick and went to work on the project that had been put on hold a couple of weeks ago for reasons that I didn't presently remember.  David and my brother seemed to be preoccupied with traversing the gauntlet of tires and bricks, testing its integrity.
     Within minutes, I had forgotten all about my brother and our mischievous neighbor.  I had gotten lost in my task of burrowing with my stick.  From over the ledge of the bank, I could see Mom ardently raking away at the brown and yellow leaves that blanketed our backyard.  Even from this distance, I could hear the comforting whish of her rake painting our yard into the Autumn floor.  I might take a break soon to jump into one of those inviting piles.
     Shawn and David, who I'd never really seen play together before, were being unusually quiet.  They had gathered some metal scraps and pieces of clay bricks that they were piling into some kind of structure.  Their enterprise seemed disorganized and uninspired; nothing like what I was doing!  Shawn sat cross-legged, carefully placing a brick so that it wouldn't compromise the model's integrity, and David was on one knee, steadying the architecture.
     Suddenly, David just stopped what he was doing.  He stood and paused to assess me.  I looked up from my work to see what he was considering.  He casually glanced at Shawn; my brother inquisitively returned his gaze.  I had the strangest feeling that something was about to happen when, sure enough, it did...
     David just took off running.  At a full sprint.  As fast as he could go.  Straight toward our mother.
     Shawn stood and looked at me.  He shot me a questioning glare that was demanding an explanation.  I just shrugged.  Suddenly, I was confused beyond explanation.  I had a suspicion that my brother knew what was going on; but, one look at his eyes confirmed that he was as clueless as I.
     Shawn tossed down whatever was in his hands and took off at a full sprint toward David.  Inexplicably, I understood why.  When one of your friends just starts running for no reason, well, that's what you do, too.  I threw down my digging stick and filed in behind my brother.  Suddenly, I was running for no reason.
     Shawn wasn't making very fast progress through the high weeds in the field.  He was three years younger than us, and David had enough of a head start that he had pretty much made it to our backyard before we had gotten very far at all.  As soon as David reached Mom, he started shouting.
     "Edna!  Edna!  Shawn got bit by a snake!  Shawn got bit by a snake!!"  He didn't pause for even a second to gauge our mother's reaction.  I think he pretty much knew what it was going to be.  Without so much as a goodbye, he continued his full sprint to the street in front of our house, heading in the direction of his.
     Panic stung my mom like an angry hornet.  She threw down the rake and ran to intercept us.  Shawn was trying to yell, "no.  no it didn't."  But, everything was suddenly so confusing.  Our mother saw both of us running in what she determined to be a sprint for help.  She grabbed Shawn up as soon as he reached her.  "Where did it bite you?  Where did it bite you??" she began screaming.
     In all the heightened emotion, Shawn couldn't find the right words to calm our ballistic mother.  I wouldn't have fared any better.  She was moving him this way and that way trying to find the pair of fang bites that would most likely be around his ankles.  Shawn was struggling to explain amid all the tossing and turning.
     When I, at last, arrived, it took my brother and I a couple of minutes to get the message into her head that David had just gotten her.  Once she finally processed the information, her anxiety transformed into palpable fury.  We could almost smell the fires of vengeance cooking in her head as she stomped back to her rake.  Shawn and I tiptoed back to the creek...

     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     Our big, living room Zenith television had been warming up for almost a minute, and I had just been able to see the picture when David's signature "knock" began.  I had been hearing the digital processing sound effects of the game "Press Your Luck" being played, and I was anxious to see the cartoon Whammies that playfully mocked an unlucky contestant when they struck out.  School had been cancelled today due to the heavy snow that we'd received overnight, so I had a rare opportunity to see some of the weekday morning game shows that were rather fun to watch.
     Thud.  Thud.  Thud.
     Mom came marching out of the bedroom; Shawn, in his pajamas, filed in behind her.  She slammed open the front door and stomped outside.  Even though I wasn't dressed for the chilly temperature, I raced to the front porch.  Whammy mischief had just been trumped by David mischief.
     "David!!!  You get down from there right now!  There's ice on that roof!  If you fall and break your neck, I'm the one that's going to have to pay the medical bills!  I'm calling your dad!"
     David routinely strolled across our rooftop, slid down the antenna pole, and rounded the corner.  I noticed that, leaning on the edge of our house, a sled, presumably David's, had been propped.  He grabbed it and carried it under his arm as he approached our front steps.  I couldn't stop the smile that was beginning to spread on my face, even though I knew it might fuel Mom's ire.
     Fortunately (for myself and David), Mom seemed to be in a rather cheerful mood this morning.  Fresh snowfalls tended to do that to her.  "Well, come inside if you're going to," Mom ushered.  "You can warm up just inside the door."  David's invite surprised everyone, but "just inside the door" would be as much as he'd ever get from her.
     An arctic-like wind hushed as David pulled the door shut.  I hugged myself, and my brother found shelter under a blanket that had been laying disheveled on the couch.  Mom, uninterested in anything David, walked into the kitchen.
     "Wanna go sledding?" David asked me charismatically.  Of course I wanted to go sledding; I had just been getting some morning television out of the way first.
     "Mom?" I called into the kitchen.  "Can I go sledding with David?"
     Mom stood at the step-down between the kitchen and the living room; she was drying my favorite Smurf glass with a towel.  "I want you back here by one o'clock because it's too cold to be out for long.  Make sure you wear your cover-alls and warm hat and your gloves.  Oh, and your boots are sitting on the back porch.  If you start to get too cold then come on back home."
     Expeditiously, I started gathering the required gear.  My pajamas began flying carelessly around the house as I changed my attire.  I glanced at my brother who was curled up on the couch and, upon seeing his cozy repose, I withheld an invitation.  Besides, if he had really wanted to come along, he would have made it known.  Within minutes, David and I were headed across my backyard to our shed where my sled was anxiously waiting.
     I carefully maneuvered over our bicycles, a forsaken lawn mower, and a careless arrangement of yard tools to reach the rarely used green and plastic sled that we had purchased last year at Douglas Hardware.  Snow didn't come very often to Southern Illinois; but, when it did, I was ready!
     David and I, once co-editors of the D&D Express (the now-defunct Brookport Elementary School newspaper that never saw its first issue), stomped through knee-deep snow until we found ourselves on an icy East 9th Street and heading toward the floodwall.
     "Wanna go down by the ballpark and sled there?" I asked my companion.
     "Nah," David spurned.  "I just came from there.  I built a cool ramp with some snow at the bottom of the hill, and then Kevin and Charlie came and ruined it.  I kept trying to fix it, and they were being stupid."
     He needed to say no more.  I knew who Kevin and Charlie were.  Anytime they got involved in anything, fun just got siphoned out of the environment.  They were two of the town bullies, and I'd rather play with a broken Etch-a-Sketch then hang out with them.
     "So, where do you want to go?" I asked.
     "I was thinkin' we could go down behind Joe's Market.  I've never sledded there, and it looks steep enough," David revealed.
     It was as good a plan as any.  My house actually had quite a hill in the backyard that the neighborhood kids sometimes used to sled down.  When I didn't feel like going far, I'd just go back there.  Usually Damon and his little brother Jeffrey, or even Costo and Matt, would join me.  But, the floodwall was a real hill.  Today was a good day for floodwall sledding.
     Content with the turn of the day, I started humming the C&H jingle; and, David joined in.  "C&H, Pure Cane Sugar, from Hawaii, that's the one..."  We sang it a few times; it was a catchy little tune.  At Joe's Market, we turned up the busy Unionville Road to head the short distance to where it carved through the floodwall.
     "Come on!" David shouted as he lead the way off the road and up the hill.  We were about the same height, so our struggle was similar.
     After we crested the hill, we struggled to catch our breath in the cold air.  I was breathing hard when David sat his green, plastic sled on the crest of the hill and lay belly-down on it; he clearly intended to go first.  On an expedition such as this, I didn't object.
     David flew down the hill.  Wow!  That looked like the best ride ever!  I jumped on my ride and mimicked his technique.  Woohoo!!!  I had never sledded that fast in my whole life!  Piss on Kevin and Charlie!
     The only problem was getting back up.  The task wasn't insurmountable, but the snow was so darn deep there.  By the time we got back to the top after each descent, we would need to rest to catch our wind.  I had never realized that one of the benefits of sledding where the rest of the kids were was that the line of children climbing back up the hill would cut a path into the snow that made each ascent easier.  Being just the two of us, our path never really got much better.
     After a few fun, but tiring, slides, David suggested we try something different.  He wanted to sled down the other side of the hill.
     I paused to consider.  Even though the distance was only a few yards, the other side of the hill was outside of the town limits.  I had a horrible feeling that I shouldn't go there.  Mom had never expressly said that I wasn't allowed to go outside of Brookport, but wasn't that rule implied?  Shouldn't I stay inside of the town's boundaries?  At last, I decided that sledding down the opposite slope wasn't much of a trespass.  I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
     "Let's race!" David shouted as he jumped on his sled.  He wasn't going to beat me!  I jumped on  mine just as quickly; and, together, we raced down the hill.  And, at the bottom, we kept racing... and we kept racing....
     Because, you see, the ground wasn't exactly flat there.  It inclined into a fast-moving creek that had water rushing under a Unionville Road overpass.  Just beyond the bridge, the swift current disappeared under a thick layer of ice.  David and I were sliding to our doom; and, no matter what we did, we couldn't seem to stop.  A sheet of ice at the base of the hill casually drifted into the creek's icy water, and we had unknowingly been on one of Mother Nature's uncanny booby traps. We weren't even sliding all that fast, but neither our hands nor our feet could claim purchase.  The ice was just too slippery.
     Our sleds, just slightly ahead of us, plopped into the water first.  The current carried them hopelessly under the highway overpass and just out of sight.  Our screams grew louder; because, we knew that we would be next.
     My first thought when the icy water grabbed me was how deep it was.  I scrambled to catch my footing on the creek's bed; I found out rather quickly that it was too deep.  I could swim, but I was hardly an expert.  If the conditions had been perfect, I would have been able to navigate myself out of this predicament.  But with heavy clothes and boots and gloves, and with wits that were handicapped by a torrent of panic, I just flung my arms about like a fool.
     My flailing arms struck something.  It was a knob of ice in the natural slide that had chauffeured us to our doom.  With wet gloves and chattering teeth, I gripped the frigid bump with as much of a grasp as I could manage.  The task was hopeless; I wouldn't be able to gain enough anchor to pull my water-logged weight free of the arctic water.  David had begun doggy-paddling to the other side.  A sheer bank was waiting for him over there; I knew that any hope of salvation wouldn't come from his endeavor.  But, I also understood his plight.  Any endeavor at this point was hopeless, but our survival instincts encouraged us to do something, to try anything.
     But then something magical happened.
     I began to pull myself out.  My hand was only halfway latched onto the slippery knob of salvation, and I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I pulled myself out of that damned water, one. chilly. limb.  at.  a .  time.  Curse words, previously reserved for prepubescent jokes and tested in the shadows under the school bleachers, crept honestly and stoically into my being for the wind, in my drenched state, which had been previously chilly was now  really.  fucking.  cold.  I was shivering so hard that when I yelled, "DAVID!"  it came out more like, "DVIDVIDIDVA!"  But, fortunately, he understood.
     He turned around and began doggy-paddling back to me.  I had a terrible, terrible thought that maybe I should just leave him.  Maybe I should go get help.  Because, I had just barely been able to pull myself out.  On this slippery slope, there was no way that my half-grip on the frozen ice would be able to hold both our weights.  And if we fell in again, I knew that lightning wouldn't strike twice.  I would never find that handhold again.  We would die.  And in a manner much like my father had.
      But, I didn't leave.  I, shivering like a mother fucker, waited for him.  And when his grip had firmly laced into my outstretched hand, I somehow managed to haul him out of the water.
     We didn't waste time for any words, not of gratitude or amazement or fear.  We just scrambled off that icy slope and onto the highway.  Once there, David ran to the other side.  I didn't know what the hell he was doing.  I just wanted to get indoors somewhere, anywhere.  I leaned over the shoulder to see what he was looking at.  Under the sheet of ice that covered the creek on the other side of the overpass bridge, a familiar green was shaded underneath an icy blue layer of frozen water.  His sled must have gotten hung on something, as it wasn't moving any further.  It was bobbing and scraping underneath.  David and I almost certainly shared the same thought as we took off in a sprint toward Joe's Market:  that could have been us.
     As soon as we got to the door, the familiar chime of the bell overhead announced our arrival.  Mrs. Craig, usually so jolly and fun, stared at us from behind the register.  I remember always asking her if they were going to get comic books like Pat's Market had, and she would always respond, "Why?  Am I not funny enough for ya?"  But there was nothing in her eyes that suggested humor now.
     "Are you boys soak and wet??" she asked us incredulously.  David and I just shivered uncontrollably.  We knew what we had to do.  Before Mrs. Craig could say another word, we turned around and ran back out.
     I know, I know.  Sounds crazy right?  But David only lived another block away, and I only lived another block from him.  As frightening and chilly as the prospect had been, we knew we could make it home.  And, once there, we could hide the evidence of our scary debacle.  A couple of blocks of running in wet clothes in the dead of winter easily trumped the massacre that would befall us if and when our parents found out about our near-death experience.  Especially when I factored in my mother's severe fear of icy water since my father had died a few years ago.  She would beat the ever-living fuck out of me.  And I'm sure David wouldn't fare any better.
     On the shivering jog, David told me 'thanks'.  He said that I had saved his life and that he would never forget it.
     I don't believe anything else was ever said about that day from anyone.  But I was beaming with pride.  I can't say for sure that I saved his life, but I enjoyed the notion.
     When I got home, shaking violently from the cold, I crept into the back door.  Fate smiled on me for I didn't see my mom anywhere.  I took off my drenched clothes, hid them under the kitchen counter until I could find a better place for them, and tiptoed into the bathroom.  My mom was in our bedroom, playing with my brother as I carefully slipped by.
     I lay in a warm bathtub thinking about the future.  I had no idea where my life would end up; but, at least for now, my record was still playing.
     "Did you have fun?" my mother called through the bathroom door.
     "Yeah." I responded.  And, to this day, I don't believe she ever knew about our "arctic plunge adventure"...
     ...and I have no intention of ever telling her.

     -- If you enjoyed this feature, check out more Flashback episodes like "Brookport" and follow the links for more memories from yesteryear.
     -- Or try a different feature, like the story of how I met my Polish wife starting with "Chapter 1 - The Tea Monster".
     -- But, most importantly, don't forget to like and share.  And, please "like" the Parenting with Lightsabers page here.
   
      

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Alanaka Episode IV- Sky Tower Trouble

                                         10/3/14 - "Alanaka Episode IV- Sky Tower Trouble"

     Blogger's Note:  "5,4,3,2... and go!"  A man holding a clipboard held his hand out to keep me from going yet.  I peeked through a slit in the curtain.  After a short commercial break, the studio audience was cheering and applauding per the instructions flashing overhead, out of the camera's view.  But, aside from the lighted 'APPLAUSE' sign, everyone just seemed electric tonight.  They were waiting for my appearance, and that always got my blood pumping.  I listened as Letterman began his routine introduction.
     "Our next guest needs no introduction," he began casually.  "His children's book, 'That's Poop!  Don't Eat That!' won the John Newbery Medal last year.  His ideas for charity were credited with housing thousands of the homeless, and he has found families for millions of lovable orphans.  His statue is currently being erected beside the Statue of Liberty, and he single-handedly found a cure for cancer using a perfect ratio of Miller Light and Pop-Secret Homestyle Popcorn!  Without further ado, here's the writer, the scientist, the humanitarian, the football star:  Duane Edwards!!!!!!!"
     The man holding the clipboard lowered his arm and ushered me onto the stage; his arms flapping hurriedly.  The audience was on their feet, cheering and screaming.  I walked out, waving and smiling at my fans.  David was going to have quite a time getting them to settle down.
     Sure enough, after Mr. Letterman shook my hand and I found my seat, he spent a few seconds encouraging everyone to calm down.  I could see my wife sitting in the front row, pumping her fist in the air.  At last, after the last shout petered out, he sat at his desk, took a sip of coffee, and addressed me.
     "Wow.  Where do we begin?  Apparently, you have a big announcement tonight?"  The audience stirred.  "But, we'll get to that in a minute.  First, I want to ask the big question.  Could you please describe and explain to us the final seconds of the SuperBowl?  Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton were sidelined with injuries.  Down by 5 points, the clock stopped at 2 seconds in the final quarter, timeout was called as head coach Bruce Arians scrambled to find a quarterback.  You stepped out of the stands, quickly threw on a jersey and a helmet, and ran onto the field (no one even knew that was legal, but apparently you found a loophole).  What happened next was described by John Madden, as, excuse my language, 'what the fuckin' hell?'  Could you please describe for us how you managed to pull off a pass and reception for 150 yards to win the game!?!  I mean, the field is only a hundred yards long after all!  Terry Bradshaw called it the 'single greatest play in the history of the sport!'  He says he has reviewed it over and over and still can't see how you pulled it off!"
     "Well, it wasn't easy, David," I began.
     "Take out the trash, Duane!" my wife was yelling from the front row.  God, I love her; she's always cheering me on.
     "It's a little too complicated to explain between commercial breaks," I continued.  "Someday, when we have more time, I'll break it down for everyone.  All I can say, is that, my man, Fitzgerald, was under quadruple coverage, so I had to come up with something really clever on the fly."
     "Take out the fucking trash, Duane!"  Shit, I hoped they beeped that out.  My crazy, Polish wife was cursing from the front row.  It was her way of encouraging me, but she was getting carried away.  Letterman didn't seem to notice.
     "Also, there's rumors that you're giving dance lessons to Beyonce.  Is there any truth to that rumor?" David asked me candidly.
     "Well, I wouldn't do that for just anybody.  But Beyonce is almost there.  I've just been giving her some pointers.  Once I built the foundation, she seemed to be perfectly capable of running away with it.  She's quite the pupil," I confessed.
     "Well, let's get to that major announcement now.  What is it that you came here to tell us, Duane?"
     "David, I've decided to go back to what I love.  I've decided to go back to writing the regular features of my blog."  As soon as the words left my mouth, the fans stood.  They were cheering and shouting madly.  My wife most of all.
     "Parenting with Lightsabers?  After all of your escapades, winning awards, curing cancer, getting a SuperBowl ring, saving orphans, posing for Playgirl, I never thought you'd go back to your blog.  After you went to Italy, you just sort of left us hanging with your 'How We Met' story.  We thought you'd just moved on to bigger and better things."
     "David, I just needed a break.  And I'm picking up with Alanaka first.  She was on my mind a lot in Italy.  I've got some big ideas for her."
     "Well, I, for one, can't wait to read..."
     A loud thud, like thunder, boomed all around me.  The studio audience disappeared behind a white kitchen wall.  David Letterman transformed into a bib-clad little girl with oatmeal circling her mouth.  Only Joanna remained, but she was much closer.  Her face was right next to mine, and she was shouting.  "I swear to God, if you don't take the fucking trash out right now, I'm going to punch you in the face!"
     I pushed my chair out, stood, and took out the fucking trash.
     If you haven't already, you'll want to get caught up before you continue.  Read "Alanaka" and follow the links to read the previous episodes...
     Listening to:  "Melancholy Hill" - Gorillaz (Feed Me Remix)

     The Zephyr vibrated slightly as they flew through a patch of turbulence.  Alanaka looked up from the stack of papers that she had been reading.  Her eyes had that glossy confusion of someone returning to the real world from a foray into the imagination.  Mason was in the passenger seat in front of her; he had spent the last couple of hours editing his Automatronic's vocal prompts much to the amusement of her brother Boston who sat beside her.
     Despite the two boys' antics, a cloak of anxiety felt palpable in the cabin they shared.  Since her mother had tried to contact them while they had been underwater, they had intermittently checked to see if their PIB's would work without the help of the Skip Rope.  They still would not.  Alanaka was worried that they might be in big trouble when they got back home, and the fear of the still-inoperable PIB's lingered like a bad toothache.  She had thought that they would have been working by now.
     Mason, having grown bored with his mechanical friend, noticed Alanaka returning the pages from her ancient journal to her backpack.  He rationed a slice of the moment for a bit of conversation.  "So, do you think your mom's gonna be upset that we took your dad's Corvette?"
     "While the PIB's aren't working?  She's going to blow a hover turbine!" Alanaka exclaimed.  Her voice lacked conviction, however.  She still seemed to be returning from wherever she had been.
     "Well, our PIB's are sorta working..." Mason proposed.  "And... we don't have to tell her...I mean, assuming she hasn't gotten home yet..."
      Boston perked at his spoken thought; he turned to his sister to gauge her reaction.  Instead of replying, she gazed out the window, suddenly interested in the wisps of clouds that feathered the sky.  The span of silence that followed was occasionally dappled by a vibrating rumble from the shifting cabin.  Alanaka surprised herself by being concerned with the Corvette's integrity; she wasn't sure how to deal with these newly-discovered worries for her well-being.  Sure, they had the Skip Rope's safety net; but, now, that seemed so limited.
     "Where are we going to take the cellular phone?" Boston interrupted the engine's drone by directing a question at his sister.
     Alanaka felt aggravated with this prodding responsibility that they were giving her.  She had gotten them this far; couldn't they offer some of their own ideas?
     "I was thinking..."  Alanaka's PIB began flashing a slow, deep blue.  Her mother was calling.
      Boston and Mason turned in unison to the young girl.  She frowned back at them before responding.  "Mom?" she began.
     "Alanaka, where did you go???" the voice speaking from her PIB was certainly her mother's, but it was staticky with some sort of electrical interference.  "You come back here right now!"
     "We're coming, Mom!" Alanaka shouted, trying to be heard over the hindering, background noise.       "No, baby.  Forget I said that.  We have to go.  It's now or never, so we're going to give it a try.  I love you, baby.  Your dad says he loves you.  Tell Boston that I  said I love you!  Tell him I said to take care of his sister!  And tell Mason his parents are above us; we can't get to them.  We don't know if they're...  Are you safe now?"  She sounded frantic; something wasn't right.  Alanaka's heart was pounding; and, by the looks of her crew-mates, they, too, were feeling the anxiety.
     "Mom!  We're ok!  We're coming home now!  We got something that might help with the malfunctioning PIB's!  Where are you?  What's wrong, mom?  You're scaring me!"
     "Oh, baby.  Don't be scared.  We're still at the worm.  Listen we have to... oh, they're firing.  They just shot Arian.  Oh my love, they shot Arian.  What do they want??  Come on, Barry; it's now or never.  We love you so much.  Be safe, we're going to give this a try...  Stay with Shendra for now.  It's not as..."  The PIB quit flashing that deep blue that had always meant her mother was calling; the quiet that filled everyone's ears was deafening.  Alanaka was crying.
     "Mom!!!  Mom!?!?  Mom, come back,  mom!!!  Mom, please answer!!!  Mom, what's going on!?!?  Who's Shendra??  Who got shot?  Mom what are you talking about?  Dad, Dad, are you there???  I don't understand!!!  I don't understand!!!  Why won't you..."
     "Alanaka."  Boston placed his hand comfortingly on his sister's forearm.  Tears were dripping across her cheeks; he was pretty certain that his eyes, too, were watery.  Mason was volleying his attention between the two in the back.  "What's happening?" Mason asked hoarsely.
     He fidgeted, waiting for an answer from the two in the back; their silence was unbearable.  "We have to go to the sky tower," he voiced.  "We'll go to the worm and then find my parents!"
     Boston and Alanaka just looked at him.  The worm was below ground level at the sky tower.  Scientists had discovered centuries ago how to create a wormhole.  They could control it by expanding it and contracting it.  A living creature had no way to survive the gravitational equivalent of a thousand stars, so a PIB's force field had been designed to repel away from active wormholes.  An active PIB would keep its wearer from being able to enter, repulsing from it like a magnet to a magnet.  For years, physicists decided that wormholes had no applicable use.  Until, one day, someone decided that they might be used for waste disposal.  The planet had been overflowing with pollutants, and landfills had been filled with heaping mounds of trash.  Controlled wormholes were created as a way to abdicate the planet of its pollution and waste; Alanaka's father Barry was responsible for the worm in Seattle.
     "I don't think we should go there," Boston sounded as though he were thinking out loud.
     "We have to!" Mason interjected.  "Your mother doesn't realize that we have PIBs that are working!  With the Skip Rope, we might be able to get to them!  My parents work on the 276th floor! If we can't get to the worm, at least we can get to them with the Zephyr!  We have to try!"
     Boston and Alanaka looked at each other.  They were searching each other for a voice of reason.  Mason could tell that they were about to try and convince him that going to the sky tower would be a bad idea.  He didn't wait for a response.
     "Harry, set a course for the Seattle sky tower, just outside the 276th floor."  Mason set his jaw and stared out the windshield.  His demeanor dared either of the backseat's occupants to oppose his lone decision.
     "Fuckin' A, bitch."  The RX-47's head was rotating again, mockingly.  Alanaka and Boston were looking at each other, non-verbally encouraging one another to speak some sense into the boy.  Seattle was still nearly an hour away, so they had some time to come up with a game plan.  They knew that the Automatronic would only respond to Mason, so negating his order wouldn't be possible.
     "Mason," Alanaka began softly.  "The Skip Rope will protect us from harm if we all stay close together.  I don't know what's going on at the sky tower; but, if someone wanted to hurt us, all they would have to do is physically separate us from one another.  That wouldn't be very hard to do.  I'm sure your parents want you to be safe, and..."
     "I know, I know," Mason interrupted.  "But we scope it out.  Maybe we can do something.  We can just take a look.  I went on your stupid adventure, now you can go on mine."
     Boston and Alanaka shared a look in the back seat.  With the deaths in Hong Kong, the PIBs' malfunctioning, and their parents' seeming peril, the two siblings bore their affections despite their conjoined insecurities.  "Mason, we'll take a look.  If there's something we can do, we will.  But if we decide it's too dangerous, you had better tell Harry to take us home.  If you don't, Alanaka will turn off the Skip Rope, and..." Boston paused.  He had never physically threatened anyone before.  And wasn't he being callous considering his friend's trepidation?  He was just afraid that Mason wouldn't listen to the voice of reason if and when that time came, and Harry would only respond to his ardent friend.
     Alanaka started crying, so Boston reached over to hug his younger sister to him.  "Boston, what if.. what if..."
     "They're ok.  I just know it.  Don't think like that," Boston encouraged.  Mason peeked over his shoulder.  By the look in his eyes, he was wrestling demons of his own; and, he wasn't faring very well.  And just past him, the Seattle sky tower came into view.
     It was still quite a distance ahead of them, but it introduced even more unwanted feelings into their well of fears.  They never should have gone on this trip!
     "You are entering restricted air space.  Reroute immediately or you may be fired upon."  A voice spoke from the Zephyr's console.  Boston grabbed the front seat and pulled himself forward.  He was grasping for a better perspective,  Did someone just say that to them?
     "Repeating.  You have entered restricted air space.  Reroute immediately or we will be forced to respond."
     "Turn us around, Mason!" Alanaka shouted.
     Mason didn't acknowledge her.  He turned around to look at Boston, daring him to do something.  "Mason, turn us around right now!  Alanaka, turn off the Skip Rope!" Boston insisted.
     "If you try anything, I'll have Harry stop you!" Mason declared.
     "You have five seconds to change course.  If you do not, we will disable your craft."  At last, they could see the source of the voice.  Two Zephyrs, each twice the size of their Corvette, had pulled alongside them.  The three children sat coasting in the middle, screaming at Mason, and trying to wave at the pilots beside them.
     The two escorts that surrounded their dad's Corvette displayed the seal of the World Union and were outfitted with four Blister cannons each:  two in the front and two in the back.  Alanaka knew that one good shot from just one of those cannons could obliterate them.  "Mason!!!  Do what they say!!!" Alanaka screamed.
     She could clearly see the uniformed men waving at them, insisting they turn around.  She turned to her brother, pleading with her eyes for him to do something, anything.
     "Mason, you tried.  We tried.  The only reason they haven't shot us down is because they see kids in here.  But, that won't stop them for long.  Our Skip Rope won't help much if we're scattered into three directions.  Turn us around, Mason.  We'll figure out some way to get to your parents, but this isn't the way..."
     Mason turned to look at his closest friend.  His eyes seemed exhausted as he spoke, "Harry, turn us around."
     "Fuckin' A, bitch."  Just as the Automatronic pulled on the steering controls with a digital wink, a loud explosion rocked the crew of juveniles.  The sound was deafening as the World Union Zephyr to their right blossomed into a bright ball of fire.  Metallic debris clanked off their Corvette, but they didn't have a worry to spare for the cosmetic welfare of Mr. Montgomery's pride and joy.  Every ounce of energy that they possessed had been expeditiously allocated to their preservation of life.  Their lives.
     "What happened???" Mason shouted as Harry had nearly completed his instruction of reversing course.
     "I see two more Zephyrs!" Boston shouted as he looked out his side of the back seat.  Alanaka and Mason craned their necks to look in that direction.  Two Zephyrs that looked very similar to the two World Union escorts were approaching them.  The most notable difference was that these newcomers were painted a sleek black.  "Mason!  Tell Harry to avoid those!  Their cannons are turning on us!" Boston shouted.
     "Harry!  Evade the two, black Zephyrs!" Mason ordered the Automatronic.  "Fuckin' A, bitch," Harry replied as the RX-47, its head spinning chaotically, quickly descended between the approaching strangers.
     Another explosion rocked the crew.  This time, one of the black Zephyrs had been eliminated.  The children turned around to see one of the World Union escort's cannons still smoking.  "You kids get out of here now!  I'll cover you for as long as I can!"
     "Harry, full speed!  Get us out of here!" Mason ordered.  The Automatronic spoke his usual affirmation as it throttled the Corvette.  The black Zephyr turned to follow.
     "He's coming after us!" Alanaka screamed.  "He's going to catch us!  Mason, do something!"
     "Harry, evade the black Zephyr.  Adjust course.  Head to the Seattle sky tower!" Mason started shouting.
     "Do what!?!" Alanaka screamed as the Automatronic acknowledged its new instructions.
     "We have to get out of this thing!  We can go to the landing platform and take cover inside the sky tower!  We're sitting ducks out here!" Mason retorted.
     "He's right!"  Boston's head shot around as his eyes searched for the location of the remaining black Zephyr.
     As the Automatronic adjusted the course, cannon fire rocked the Corvette, shifting the children in their seats.  Alanaka watched as the World Union escort attempted to distract their pursuer with some wild shots.  The escort's pilot didn't seem to have a very good aim.  Looping around, the ebony bird-of-prey circled back on an intercept course for the children's defenseless cruiser.
     "Mason!  Does Harry have an Iconographic Retention System?" Boston shouted.
     "Yeah.  Remember, we were..." Mason began, but Boston quickly interrupted.
     "Remember that time we were playing Starship Warriors IV at your house?  Tell him to demonstrate the final five minutes of our last game!  Quick, Mason!  Tell him!"
     Mason volleyed the instructions to the RX-47.  "Fuckin' A, bitch," their pilot winked just before he steered the Corvette into a corkscrew that sent Alanaka scrambling for something to hold on to.  The three children screamed in unison as a blast of cannon-fire shot just above them.  Harry continued swerving left and right and down and up, avoiding imaginary plasma torpedoes.
     "We never should have went on this stupid trip!!!" Mason yelled as they suddenly pulled up to see the sky tower just ahead of them.
     "What in the world are you kids..."  But the World Union escort didn't finish his sentence.  Nor would he ever finish a sentence.  His Zephyr exploded into a thunderous cloud of debris.  A brief moment of silence was suddenly interrupted by their own screams when the dark bird-of-prey flew through the carnage it had just created.
     "Get us to the landing pad at the top, Mason!!!" Alanaka screamed.
     Mason relayed the orders; Harry obliged.  The Corvette shot up vertically, following the contours of the sky tower on its ascending route.  Their pursuer circled around the stem of the tower, angling for a good shot.
     As they crested the sky tower, Mason shouted landing instructions.  Their Zephyr began descending onto the landing platform.  The drop to the terrace seemed to take forever, and she had a striking memory of how her dad could flawlessly land his prized Zephyr so smoothly that she wouldn't even realize that they were descending.  The recollection bruised her spirit.  And to strike hope away even further, the black Zephyr suddenly appeared rising out of some nearby clouds like a shark's fin.  "We have to get inside!" she shouted.
     As soon as they reached the platform's surface, the children scrambled to open the doors and climb out of the Corvette.  As Alanaka heard the cannons firing she had a despairing thought that she didn't want that sound to be the last she'd ever hear.  She thought that their force shields might be enough to save them now that they were together on the platform.  They ran as fast as they could to the door about twenty yards away; and, just as she dared to dream about salvation, the door opened.  A short, bearded man wearing baggy clothes and a purple turban stepped out.  He was followed closely by what must have been ten soldiers holding rifles of some sort, all aimed at them.
     The trio of adventurers almost tripped over one another as they slid to a stop.  When they regained their balance, they began slowly backing toward the edge of the tower.  The squad of soldiers advanced accordingly.   Alanaka nearly fell to her knees; she was certainly willing to beg for her life if her pleas would have any significant effect.  She suspected that they would not.
     Just as the man sporting the purple turban began to raise his hand to say something, a blast from the black, circling Zephyr overhead crashed into the platform just in front of them, splintering the ground.  The concussive blast sent Boston, the nearest to the edge, over the side.  For some inexplicable reason, Alanaka didn't even pause to blink.  She grabbed Mason's hand, grasped it firmly...  and leapt.
     Sometimes you can't think.
     Her first thought was how cold it suddenly was; she was having trouble breathing as a torrent of chilly air flapped her like a cracking whip.  The landing platform was surrounded by a climate field that kept the temperature and the oxygen in its vicinity at a comfortable level.  Now that they were clear of that, she was freezing.  Mason began screaming uncontrollably.  Far ahead, Boston was spiraling to his doom.
     You can't consider or contemplate or weigh the odds or even blink.
     "Mason!!  Straighten your body!  We have to dive faster!!!" Alanaka tried to scream louder than the boy's horrified shrieks.  Despite her certainty that he was beyond reason, Mason stretched vertically, frigidly diving with the insane girl that had a death grip on his hand.
     Because if you do, you'll never leap.
     Boston disappeared into a layer of clouds, and Alanaka had a despairing premonition that he would, in that blinding mist, be slammed against the protruding midsection of the sky tower.  At the speed that they were descending, he wouldn't...
     She shook away the thought.  She steeled her jaw and dove.
     And if you do leap, it'll be too late.
     She could feel Mason's panic creeping like ivy from his hand to hers, up her arm, and into her head.  He had quit screaming and had clinched his eyes shut.
     Because the moment is gone.
     Once through the clouds, she could see Boston ahead.  He was closer, but her brother still seemed to be impossibly out of reach.  She may have made a mistake.  She tried to imagine herself sleek, like a bullet, zipping through the air.
     The opportunity missed.
     "Boston!!!" she cried.  "Lay flat!!!  Try to slow yourself down!!"  Boston apparently heard her.  He twisted his body so that he was falling horizontally.  The ground behind him was closing in fast.
     You throw away whatever is weighing you down, grab the hand of courage, and leap heart-first.
     She could see Boston fall past a bird that was gliding near the stem of the tower.  A moment after her eyes had registered what it was, she fell past it.  She looked up and tried not to consider what might have happened if she would have collided with it at the speed that she was descending.  When she looked back down, Boston was just out of arm's reach.
     And then dive into your fear with nothing but faith that someone you love will be waiting for you with open arms.
     And just when she was certain that her stupid adventure was going to have a very abrupt ending, she heard, "Triangulating PIBs.  PIBs synchronized."  A loud crash immediately followed.
     Alanaka tried to gather her wits.  A blinding cloud of dust shrouded the world around her.  She still held Mason's hand, and his whimpers confirmed that he was okay.  She braced herself and tried to stand.
     "Alanaka?"  Boston's voice spoke.  She began to realize that she had landed on top of him.  She scrambled to turn over; she wanted, she needed, to hug him.  Boston reciprocated.  They held each other, wordlessly sniffling, as Mason ran into them and wedged himself into the embrace.  The three stood in what the dissipating cloud of dust revealed to be a crater that their death plunge had created.  Boston dared to chuckle; his two companions, for some inexplicable reason, emulated his mirth in a tripod of gaiety.
     They continued in this fashion for a spell until a voice from above them molested their rejoicing.  "Don't move!"
     Alanaka searched through the dust for the voice's source.  Circling the crater above, a ring of soldiers had them surrounded with rifles that were aimed into their interrupted huddle.  She could see that their uniforms sported the World Union emblems as stern expressions dared the children to move.
     Two of the soldiers parted to allow a bright-eyed, smirking man entry.  He wore the epaulets of rank, but Alanaka didn't need to see his ceremonial gear to recognize the self-confidence and authority of a general.  The man knelt to peer down into the aperture as his smirk widened into an affectionate smile.  After a brief pause to assess the unusual spectacle, he offered an open hand into the pit and spoke.  "I think you kids need to come with me..."
                                                         (to be continued...)

  -- Don't forget to like Parenting with Lightsabers here. 
   
   
   

     

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Sardinia The Final Days - Blue Skies

                                           9/12/14 - "Sardinia The Final Days - Blue Skies"

     Blogger's Note:  Well, I think it's well-past time that we wrap up this vacation thing.  I wanted to chronicle our journey for my own records as well as possible, and I think I've pretty much done that.  I believe it's beginning to drag a little, and I've already hit most of the key points in both Poland and Italy that I wanted to hit.  I've just one more day that I want to sketch for you.  A magical day that I will never forget for all of my years.
     So, I'm going to get right to it.  I'm going to condense the day before our "magical" day and the days that follow as they were mostly just lying around on the beach anyway.  And wrap up the journal of our vacation...
     Listening to:  Michael Dulin - "Clair de Lune - Timeless"

     On the fourth day, we decided to head south toward Costa Smeralda.  Apparently, Costa Smeralda is a portion of Sardinia, hell, maybe all of Italy, where some of the richest people in the world live.  We're talking about actors and actresses, presidents, athletes, royalty, performers, and more.  We thought we'd find a nice beach somewhere in the area and kick away the day.
Costa Smeralda
     After a few wrong turns, we finally found a town where yachts were parked along a majestic boardwalk filled with elegant restaurants and pricey stores.  I felt rather out of place in this ritzy place as we meandered through a mall that was actually stores that were honeycombed through what appeared to be the natural landscape.  Decorous bridges spanned picturesque brooks as we zigzagged up the slope of aristocratic shoppers.  We took advantage of the scenery for a few photo opportunities, but we didn't stay long.  We weren't comfortable there.
     We did, however, decide to grab a bite to eat at one of the restaurants there.  I have to give credit to the server and the staff there; they treated us just like everyone else.  I went back to ordering pasta with shellfish; Roman stuck, of course, with pizza; and, Joanna ordered some traditional spaghetti.  The food was fine (I still preferred the ocean-front restaurant next to our resort, but it was a close second).
     As we were finishing our meal, paying the tab (and the coperti), and grabbing our gear, Roman informed us that he needed to use the restroom.  Joanna offered to take him, and I took advantage of the short span of time to use the precious WIFI there and get my internet fix.  After a few minutes, my wife and my son returned to the umbrella-covered tables of the patio where we had been eating.  The place was only about half-full as the lunch crowd was just beginning to show up; the peaceful, quiet setting was vibrantly trespassed only by the gentle, hush of quaint conversation and a bubbly lap of the sea brushing against the dock.  Roman made an announcement, "Daddy!  I poop!!!  Daddy!  I poop!!!"  Everyone looked up from the meals.  Any troubles we may have had in the past with finding people that understood English had just been circumvented.  We grabbed our son's hands and our things and quickly left, doing our best to conceal our giggles.
     I really enjoyed the beach at Costa Smeralda.  Let me describe it:
At the beach
     As you approached, you had the option to rent various spots on the beach.  There was, of course, the free section, which was just a span of sand like one might expect.  A large crowd of people had elected to take this spot (as would we).  But, you could if you wanted, rent other spots.  A grass lot had been manicured in one section; for about 20€, you could rent one of the spots for the day.  It came with an umbrella-covered lounge chair and an electric cooler to keep your drinks or food cool.  A server made his or her rounds to make sure you didn't need anything.  You also had a locker and a shower area to use if you wanted.  And, from there, the areas dwindled in price.  For 15€, grass gave way to sand.  For 10€, you had just a chair and a locker.  Until you came to the free area, where we went.  I thought it was nice that you had different options to choose from.  And I didn't think 20€ was out of the realm of affordability.
     So, we spent our fourth day, laying around on the beach, snapping pictures, and playing with Roman.  At one point, I thought it'd be wise for me to burn the image of our setting into my brain.  A sailboat was anchored on the horizon, and the clear water that my son and wife were playing in couldn't possibly be real.  I took a mental snapshot and tucked it away into my heart's photo album.

     And then Thursday arrived.  The day we had booked our sailing adventure...
     On the fifth day, we rambled through the abominable breakfast routine before we loaded up the Panda and headed back to Palau.  The sky was overcast; not a single ray of sunshine could penetrate the dreary, gray canopy.  Occasionally, a jagged lightning bolt would rip through the air to strike something on the horizon.  They had promised a phone call if the trip would be cancelled due to weather, but we hadn't received a phone call.  We had really been looking forward to this day, and a chilly, wet day wasn't what we had in mind.
     In Palau, we parked the car and made our way to the dock-side booth where we had booked the excursion.  We were rather apprehensive and had begun the discussion on possibly insisting on a refund as the day was really shaping up to be rather lousy.  We had learned over the past few days that the weather forecasts in Sardinia weren't reliable.  The tropical-like atmosphere could produce rain or sunshine on a whim and was entirely unpredictable.  As we approached the booth, a couple was already there (German based on their accents).  They were talking to the elderly lady insisting on their money back.  Veronica ran out to intercept us.  She began asking us how our week had been so far:  an obvious ploy to distract us from the engaging dialogue between the Germans and the Italian owner.  Joanna didn't skirt the topic.
     "Should we get a refund?  The weather is bad," she firmly asked Veronica.
     "Yes," the Romanian girl grimaced as she looked at the sky.  "But you must trust me.  We do this everyday.  The wind is blowing strongly from the north," she pointed at an Italian flag that was being whipped around by a spry breeze before continuing.  "We have made a decision based on the radar and our knowledge."
     We looked at her doubtfully.  Her response had sounded rehearsed.
     She looked over her shoulder at her boss and the Germans before resuming our discussion in a hushed tone.  "There is no way to know 100% for certain.  But I think you should go.  The boat is only going to be half-full, so it will not be crowded.  And, by my experience, I will tell you, I do believe that today will be a great day to be sailing."  She looked at us, and I could see in her eyes that she was being honest.  We handed her the remainder of the money due, and she handed us back 50€ with a smile, apparently she was giving us a discount.  Well, we certainly hadn't been overcharged...
     After Joanna and I hesitantly nodded, she encouraged us to have a coffee at the restaurant that overlooked the harbor.  They had WIFI there, and we could meet with the rest of the crew and passengers at 10:30.
     We found a table near the edge and ordered a cappuccino from the waitress.  A very fine mist was drizzling on the awning above us when the German couple that had been arguing their case for cancellation sat at the table next to us.  We recognized each other immediately.
Our sailboat
     "So did you cancel?" I asked him politely.
     "Yes.  They did not make it easy," he answered.
     "I hear ya.  We were strongly considering cancelling as well.  But, I guess we've decided to take our chances," I confessed.
     "You know, maybe you will be lucky.  Who knows?  I really hope you do have a good trip."  A rather bright, jagged bolt of lightning prefixed a loud clap of thunder to punctuate his well-wishes.  Joanna and I exchanged a grimace.  "I just hope we survive," I quipped.
     When 10:30 arrived, we met on the dock with a group of people.  We were instructed to put our shoes and sandals into a box before crossing the plank onto the boat.  Once aboard, the elderly lady spoke to us with acceptable English.  "I will explain the rules in Italian first and then in English."
     We came to learn that we could sit in the front of the boat on the deck or on the horseshoe bench that was inset at the rear.  We were told that the spray of the water could be a bit chilly near the front on a day like today, so we elected to sit in the back.  We were also instructed to always have one point of contact with the boat as we moved about.  We were welcome to go anywhere that we wanted, but the first time that we used the bathroom one of the crew members would show us how the toilet functioned.  For the most part, the rules were to just do what the crew told us to do; and, as I don't recall the names of the two Italian men that served as our crew, I will, for the remainder of this narrative, refer to them as "Mario" and "Luigi".
One of the mansions on the bank
     Sharing the bench in the rear with Joanna, Roman, and myself was a trio of Italians.  An energetic man in his twenties reminded me of an Italian version of Tom Cruise; he had a tattoo of Jimi Hendrix on his left shoulder.  His girlfriend and her mother also joined us in the rear.  I wasn't sure yet whether or not they spoke English.  In the front, I'd learn that another German couple had opted to come, and they were joined by a couple from Belgium:  a friendly-looking bald fellow and his wife.
     The in-board engine revved up, and we took to the cloudy seas.
     I had learned from previous experience (an outing in Florida and a forgettable day on the Red Sea in Egypt) that I was rather prone to sea-sickness.  As the ebb and flow of the tide rocked us this way and that, I became very concerned that the less-than-desirable temperature and the stormy-looking skies might be the least of my worries.  We followed the coastline northward.  In the distance, we could see La Maddalena on one side; Palau was disappearing behind us.  Exotic mansions freckled the bank, and "Mario" began to explain that when the land had first started being sold, people were buying it up for the equivalent of $5 per lot.  Now, they were worth millions.  Some very famous people lived up there.
Leaving the storm clouds; Zodiac in-tow
     Finally, we left the peninsula behind us and were adrift in the sea.  Mario cut the engine; and, in the front, Luigi began cranking up the sails.  I was taken by the silence the now-dead engine had left in its wake.  The lap of salty waves against us and a squawk of distant sea gulls made me aware of ourselves.  And, as if Mother Nature had a sense of humor, just as the wind grabbed the sail and set us into motion, the first ray of sunshine that any of us had seen that day broke through the clouds.  None of us could help but smile, and someone in the front of the boat openly applauded.  Even Roman's lips stretched into a poorly-suppressed grin.  I don't believe there was a person aboard that wasn't smiling.  And, as the boat splashed a spray of salt water into the air, I suddenly understood sailing like I had never before.  With only the sounds of the wind and the water, we had harnessed the good will of our beautiful planet to nurse us into motion.  I was watching and listening to a sect of Mother Nature that I had never before seen or heard.  And we were all just giddy with the experience.
The famous no-longer pink beach
     "We are approaching the three islands.  They are three very small islands with the most beautiful beaches.  There, on the left, is the famous pink sand beach.  It is closed to people now, because they take jars of the sand with them.  You can see that it is not very pink now.  But we will find other fine beaches, and we will pick two of them to stop at," Mario explained to us.  I was growing anxious to reach a destination, because the motions of the water was beginning to make me nauseous.  I, apparently, was no seafarer.
     Roman informed me that he needed to "shoo-shoo" (which is how he says he needs to take a leak).  I asked Luigi (the less-talkative, gray-haired crew member) to show me how to "work" the facilities.  He joined us in the stuffy cabin and showed me the closet that was supposed to be the bathroom.  It was so small that there was no way I could stand in it with Roman; he would have to fend for himself.  Luigi showed me how to pump water into the pooper and then to flip the switch so it would be vacuumed into storage.  The process was fairly simple, but I never would have figured it out without instruction.
The cabin
     I waited impatiently for Roman to finish.  The stuffy cabin was making me very seasick, and I just wanted to be above, in the fresh air.  Once he was finished, I handed him up to Joanna and climbed the ladder out of there.  In the short span of time that we had been absent from the deck, the sun had claimed the sky.  All around us, a blue-ness.  Any evidence that clouds had ever been overhead was swept from existence.  A day as perfect as any I have ever known had just unfolded all around us.
     The sailboat navigated into a beautiful-aqua hued lagoon; and, just as promised, boats of every shaped and size were circling all around us.  Their passengers were watching us in this span of water where they couldn't reach.  We anchored, and Mario told us we could jump right in if we wanted.  The friendly Belgiums decided that they would do just that.  The rest of us opted for the second choice.
     Mario said that, if we wanted, he could load us into the Zodiac (the outboard propelled, inflatable raft) and take us to a nice beach just across the way.  They would take us in two groups, because we couldn't all fit on the Zodiac at once.  While we were away, they would make us lunch so that it would be ready when we returned.
     Mario loaded the first group of people.  After the Zodiac sped away, Joanna, Roman, and I were left alone with Luigi and the friendly Belgiums who were preparing to jump off the sailboat into the inviting waters.  Mr. Friendly Belgium asked if I would take a photograph with his camera of he and his wife.  Of course I did; and, afterwards, I asked him to return the favor.  And, of course, he did.
The Belgium's picture
     When the Zodiac returned, Joanna, Roman, and I climbed aboard and were zipped to a small beach where no one appeared to be.  "Walk over that little hill," Mario suggested by pointing at a sandy trail near us.  As the Zodiac zipped away, we followed his direction.  And just over the rise, we saw heaven...
      About fifteen or so people (including our sailing companions) were speckled across an alluring beach where a quiet wash of sea water hugged its sandy bottom all the way to the shore.  A plethora of languages were being spoken, and Roman didn't waste any time.  He ran into the water; Joanna followed closely behind.
     All around us, sailboats and tour boats were idling by as its passengers watched us with hungry and perhaps envious smiles; the tour boats ranged from vessels made up to look like pirate ships to tiny sailboats.  Some were loaded with a hundred people; others only carries one or two.
     The water was just a tad cold, so I walked in to waist-depth.  I was comfortable there.  To the north, the Corsica Mountains loomed impossibly large.  A lighthouse to the west sat on the island's peninsula.  Joanna swam out, unencumbered by the chill, to our son.  They splashed and played as I smiled.  I scanned, slowly, from horizon to horizon.  For some reason, I began to hum "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
      Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high. there's a land that I heard of once on a lullaby.  Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.  And the dreams, that you dare to dream, really do come true.  
Our hidden beach
     I grabbed the camera and started taking some pictures, feeling like a professional photographer.  My wife and my son were laughing and swimming, and I forgot anything that had ever made me sad.  The hour or so that we played on that beach was timeless.  It was too short; but, also, it seemed to last forever.
     When Joanna started to swim closer to the beach, Roman found a mass of rocks from which he could leap, laughing and smiling, into the water.  He would run back to the beach and around to climb, again, to the top of the boulders.  He'd repeat that process over and over, amused and entertained as he was.
     After the allotted time, the first batch of our shipmates had climbed onto the Zodiac to be taken back to the sailboat.  We knew our time here was coming to an end.  Joanna was gathering the towels on the beach, and I let Roman leap one last leap into the sea before I grabbed his hand and began to lead him out of the water.  He was skipping in the water, giddy as a...
     "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
     Roman just started shouting.  Or screaming.  Or crying.  Or, something.  I had never heard him cry out quite like that.  Everyone on the beach stopped what they were doing to watch us.  Joanna looked at me as if to ask 'what happened?'  I shrugged.  I honestly didn't know.
     "He must have hit his toe on a rock," Joanna dismissed.
     "No.  I can see clearly to the bottom.  There's absolutely nothing here," I countered.  "AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"  Roman's cries intensified.  I felt the wildebeest of panic circling me, hungry and preying.  I knew that I was about to be eaten by that monster.  I had never heard my son cry out so painfully, for so long, with such conviction.
     Out of the water, we inspected him thoroughly.  The only thing that we could ascertain was that he was tightly squeezing his knees together.  I tried to pull them apart, but he wouldn't have it.  What had been a scream of pain turned into mad screams of outrage.  And that's when I thought:  jellyfish.
     As if reading my mind, a mother and her daughter approached us.  She spoke with a British accent, but her English was broken.  I'm not sure what would have been her country of origin.
     "I don't know to call what," she began.  Struggling to figure out what she was saying was going to be a task, and I wasn't sure I was up to it.  "But, it bite.  I don't know to call what.  The water.  The sea water help.  The salt.  Need salt.  Maybe have a boat."
     "Is it a jellyfish?" I asked her.
     "Yes.  Yes.  That is it.  Salt now will help," she was content that the language barrier had been toppled.
     We brought our screaming child to the water's edge and tried to splash water on it.  He was in such a frenzy that doing anything was nearly impossible.  What little water that I was able to splash on him didn't seem to help much at all.  Suddenly, I began to panic.
     What was I supposed to do?  Piss on it?  I think I had heard that somewhere.  Were they poisonous?  Maybe some of them were.  Maybe some of the ones in Italy were.  I had no clue.  I had never encountered a jellyfish bite before.  How did such a perfect, impossibly beautiful day get so adulterated?
     We wrapped Roman in a towel and carried him to the place where we would be picked up.  His screams never let up for one instant.  I don't know how badly a jellyfish sting hurts, but I suspect pretty fucking badly.  I kept thinking:  why couldn't it have been me?  There were at least fifteen adults around us.  Why could't it have been one of the fucking adults?
     When the raft arrived, Mario had a comforting smile.  I think he knew what had happened.  He had a handheld radio; he spoke something in Italian to his partner, Luigi.  I was trying to remain composed, but I wanted answers.  Did we need to cut the trip short?  Maybe he needed to take us back so that we could take our son to a hospital.
     Mario was all calm and composed.  "They sometimes go months and not sting anyone; and, then one day, with no warning, they come out like crazy.  There is no way to predict."
     "What do we do?  He's in a lot of pain," I pleaded.
     "Don't worry.  We have something at the boat.  In five minutes, he will have forgot all about the pain."  I was comforted, but I wouldn't believe it until I saw it.
     Back at the boat, Mario tied us off.  Everyone rushed to help us.  Italian Tom Cruise leaped to the ladder to give us hand with climbing on board.  The friendly Belgiums wore visages of concern; the professional-looking German and his wife were carrying a first-aid kit; the Italian mother wore a concerned expression as she was nursing her hand.  Mario's radio call must have forewarned everyone as to what had happened.
     Once aboard, Luigi handed me something that looked like chapstick with instructions to rub it on the bite (or bites, as it turned out, Roman had been stung pretty badly on the insides of both knees).  I had no choice but to hold down our insanely belligerent child as Joanna applied the "antidote".
Roman and his seagull
     The fear that it wouldn't work exceeded my patience for the next few minutes; I think everyone felt our anxiety; but, sure enough, just as advertised, after about five minutes, Roman's screams turned into small whimpers.  Within ten minutes, he was just sitting there quietly.  I'm sure he was wondering what had happened, maybe he felt like he had done something wrong.  I felt a strong desire to comfort him.
     Joanna had wrapped him in his shark towel, and he sat on the back of the boat just staring at the water.  After a span of time that everyone used to relax, the Italian mother revealed, "I got stung as well."  She held out her hand to show me; it was swollen as hell.  "Wow.  That really sucks," I tried to console.
     "Lunch is ready,"
     Lunch consisted of some plain pasta with tomato sauce and a simple roll.  We all sat around the bench eating silently; the excitement of Roman's jellyfish encounter was still settling.  The food was fine, but the experience was delicious.  Everyone was passing around the serving platters.  Obviously sympathetic to our plight (and Roman's sudden melancholy demeanor), our crew-mates would pass the food to us first.  We'd take a portion and pass it around until it would end on the table in the middle.  Then, we were handed plastic cups of wine (water for Roman).
     Everyone was quiet.  The soft lap of the sea against the hull droned us into thoughtfulness.  I had a spiritual experience like I had never had before.  I suspect everyone did.  Something about the sudden camaraderie given the circumstances had sewn together a patchwork of cultural diversity.  Although nothing was said, the soft, warm breeze blanketed us together.  We were all one unit, and I liked these people.  And I think they liked us.
clockwise starting at 6 o'clock:  Italian girlfriend, her mother, Italian Tom Cruise, Belgiums, Germans, me
     We ate until we were full, and then Mario disappeared below deck.  He returned with carafes of what was certainly alcohol.  Luigi handed out small espresso shots which we took with small biscotti cookies, and then Mario started pouring swigs of something.  They were red and white mirto shots; he didn't ask if you wanted one.  He just handed us one of each.  And then he passed around the grappa.
     Grappa (perhaps the same thing as ouza that we had in Greece with an Italian name) is basically Jagermeister on steroids.  It tastes like vodka and gravel as it's made from the leaves and the vines from grapes (yeah, not the grapes themselves, that would be too easy).  I don't know the alcohol content of grappa, but I suspect it's a hell of a lot.
     After we did a shot of each, Mario just sat the bottles on the table.  Italian Tom Cruise anxiously went to work on the grappa.  I began to sample everything in more detail.  I had no idea when we paid our fare that admission would include all-you-could-drink.  I'm not sure that it normally did.  I had the strange impression that Mario and Luigi liked this group.
     We all started trying to converse once the alcohol loosened the mood.  I asked Italian Tom Cruise if he liked Jimi Hendrix.  His eyes got wide; he was suddenly anxious to discuss what was obviously his idol.  I've always like Jimi Hendrix, but I didn't have a lot of knowledge on the subject.  I tried to express as much, but it didn't matter to anyone.  We were just having a good time.  We all talked about where we were from.  The Italians, as it turned out, had a summer home in La Conia (the town where our resort was), but they lived on the Italian mainland.  The German was some kind of reporter (he even looked the part), and the Belgium worked at some kind of factory.  We talked about how perfect the day had become and laughed about anything we could.
     Roman sat wearing his shark towel, staring off the back of the boat.  He was neither happy nor sad, just thoughtful.  I noticed everyone checking on him occasionally, Joanna most of all.  He just sat there...
     ...when suddenly a seagull landed on the railing right next to our son.
     At first, Roman just stared it.  And it stared at Roman.  The entire boat got quiet as we watched the surreal exchange.  Roman turned his head slowly to see what had caused all the quiet.  Everyone was staring at him.  He turned back to the bird, and they spoke to one another with their eyes.  My son was different then.  He didn't jump or play or stir.  He just gazed dreamily.  He didn't know it, but he was showing us, each and every one of us, how to pick yourself up and brush yourself off.
Our sailboat towing the Zodiac
     For all I know, seagulls landing on sailboats happens everyday, all the time.  But for all of us, we saw something new that day.  Something different.  After a long silence, Italian Tom Cruise slowly stood; he carried between his thumb and forefinger a pinch of bread.  He tried to slowly approach the bird in an obvious attempt to hand-feed it.  The bird flew up, gliding on an air current, and then landed again at the same spot next to Roman once Italian Tom Cruise retreated somewhat.  \
     This dance continued for a time.  The seagull seemingly wanted nothing to do with anyone except Roman.  However, after several attempts, Italian Tom Cruise finally succeeded.  We all watched as the bird's beak pinched at the crumbs in his palm.  We had been entertained without a smart phone, without a television, without a computer.
     At last, Mario announced that he was going to lift the anchor so we could head to another beach.
     We didn't sail for long.  After heading south for about twenty minutes, we ended up near the preserved, pink sand beach.  Once again, we had to make two trips; but, this time, the Belgiums didn't stay behind.  Joanna, Roman, and I were part of the second load this time.
     Once at the beach, we claimed a patch of it by laying our towels down.  About the same number of people were here as the last beach:  not many.  Several kids (Italian kids by their dialect) were playing with one of those large surfboards that I've seen pictures of.  It's a rather large board that people stand on and use a long paddle to navigate.  They were taking turns doing a circuit around the alcove, and I enjoyed watching them play.
Roman's "cave"
     Joanna said she wanted to swim out a ways and asked if I would watch Roman.  Of course, I said I would; I was rather interested in seeing how he would react to the water after his jellyfish encounter.  Sure enough, after Joanna had already swam out away and I had waded into knee-depth, Roman just played on the beach.  I encouraged him to come in, but he acted as though he didn't hear me.  I saw him sneak a peek a couple of times, but he wouldn't take a step in my direction.  Set in the side of a dirt bank at the edge of the beach was a bit of washed out soil that, at least in the eyes of child, could be seen as a cave.  In reality, it was hardly accessible.  Roots and shrubs guarded the inset.  But Roman made a time of looking into it and throwing rocks into it.  I wasn't too far away, just barely into the water, trying to figure out a way to coax my son in with me.  An anxious thought crept into my brain that, if he ever did join me, another damn jellyfish might sting him and forever ruin his love of water.
     Roman found a stick that he drug in the sand behind him as he meandered thoughtfully around the beach.  I noticed that our crew mates, unlike the last beach where we each went our different ways, were also paying attention.  A camaraderie had been forged earlier; and, although we had each gone our different ways, we seemed to be aware of one another.  Roman had tempered his expression with a veil of ambiguity, but we all knew that an internal war was being fought in the mind of our conflicted four-year-old.
     Without any forewarning or hint of his intention, Roman threw down his stick and ran, full-throttle, in the ocean.  He splashed past me, sparing me a glance, but his destination was his mother.  A shout of encouragement that originated from the vicinity of Italian Tom Cruise caught the attention of everyone at the beach.  Most had no idea what was going on.  But the German man applauded and the Belgium, swimming in the deeper water wearing a wet suit and flippers, pumped his fist into the air.  I wanted to shout, "That's my boy!  That's my boy!" as Roman swam to his awaiting mother.  I nearly cried with pride.
That's my boy!
     I knew then why Roman had come with us to Italy.  He was meant to.  I had learned something from him that day; and, he, too, learned a valuable life lesson that he may not be able to remember learning but will have etched onto his code of conduct for the rest of his life.  Had Roman not come, I would not have made sand castles with a plastic pail and a plastic shovel.  I would not have splashed in the water.  I would have missed the planes in the sky.  And I wouldn't have learned the lesson that he had just taught me.
     Sometimes you can't think.  You can't consider or contemplate or weigh the odds or even blink.  Because if you do, you'll never leap.  And, if you do leap, it'll be too late.  Because the moment is gone.  The opportunity missed.  You throw away whatever is weighing you down, grab the hand of courage, and leap heart-first.  And then dive into your fear with nothing but faith that someone you love will be waiting for you with open arms.
     And so my family swam and splashed and played into the sunset.  The Zodiac made its trips to reclaim its passengers, and we set sail back to Palau.  As the western sea, tinted orange by the fading sun, gave way to a Sardinian peninsula, I could feel the early discomfort that precedes sea-sickness.  Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to take any more, we arrived at the dock.  The boat was tied off, the plank extended.  We all went our separate ways on land, waving goodbye with heartfelt handshakes and smiles.  I will never see any of these people again, but I have a funny suspicion that we will never forget one another.
ferry to La Maddalena
     We drove home; Roman's eyes had grown heavy.  Back at our room, he had no trouble falling asleep.  Joanna and I sat on the balcony, drinking wine, and eating a watermelon that I was trying to cut with a butter knife.  We didn't speak much; we just sat outside, thoughtfully watching the sea.  Not much needed to be said.

     The next day would be the last day with the Panda.  We decided we had better wrap up our souvenir/gift-buying, so we headed to Palau to do just that.  After a frustrating morning of finding nothing but overpriced nonsense, we opted to take the ferry one more time to La Maddalena.  Only this time, we rode it as pedestrians.
     We left the car at its parking spot in Palau and boarded the ship on foot.  The fifteen minute journey was a different experience as we got to roam more freely.  We found a window-side booth and silently watched the breaking waves outside.
gift-buying in La Maddalena
     In La Maddalena, we navigated the busy main street and even strayed through a couple of enticing alleys.  The shops were interesting, and finding the things that we were looking for was much easier.  In fact, we had to moderate ourselves a little.  My backpack and Joanna's purse were getting pretty full.
     We headed back across the sea and headed back home where we let Roman play on the beach as we just relaxed in the sun.

     On the last full day that we were there, we returned the Panda first thing that morning.  We caught the "train" back to the resort and changed into our swimming gear.  An hour later, we, again, jumped on board the "train" and headed to its other stop:  the beach, as the resort's front desk called it.
Roman shows us something
     The shuttle dropped us off next to the road where a dirt path crossed a field.  Dozens of people joined us in our trek across the trodden earth.  This "wild" beach was packed.  Instead of sand, it had soft, round pebbles that covered the bank.  Kites were flying overhead; and, once again, African merchants were marching the length of the beach politely selling their wares.  We set up our "station" and played in the water until that afternoon.  Everyone migrated back to the road to be carried to the resort at the prescribed time.
     We decided that we would have one nice meal before we left Italy:  spare no expense.  The three of us walked to the seaside restaurant that was a block away from our resort.  I had already decided what I would order.  My travel guide had suggested that, while in Sardinia, to make sure and try salt-encrusted fish and/or the fetal pig.  The pig is apparently slaughtered within the first day of its birth; it's stuffed with various herbs and slow-roasted on a spit over a fire for nearly a day.  Sounds cruel doesn't it?  Well, we didn't try the pig.  Apparently, you have to give them a day's notice for some "fetal pig" barbecue.
Our fish
     So, we ordered Roman's usual pizza and a large plate of mussels for an appetizer.  I don't think I'll ever eat mussels again unless I am in Italy.  The bar has just been set too high.  For the main course, we ordered the salt-encrusted fish.  We sipped away on white wine and nibbled on the bread as we awaited the fish to arrive.
     When it came, it was nothing like I had imagined.  It wasn't salt-encrusted fish; it was salt-encased fish.  The fish was inside a rock of salt that had been lit on fire.  Our server went to work on the fish as soon as it arrived table-side.  He chiseled away at the salt with a fork and spoon like a sculptor might work on a slab of marble.  When at last the fish was free of its encasement, he skillfully carved the fish into two portions that he served to Joanna and myself.  His routine would have been worth the price of admission even if the fish had tasted horrible; but, fortunately, it didn't.  In fact, it was the best fish I had ever had...
     My taste buds had already decided, before the fish was ever on my plate, that it would be too salty.  When I actually tried a bite though, I was very pleasantly surprised.  It wasn't too salty at all.  In fact, it just had a hint of saltiness.  I'm sorry to say that I have no idea what kind of fish that it was.  All I know is that it was perfectly moist and flavorful:  certainly worth its price.
     When the tab came, I had already decided that I was going to tip well.  But, when we started to count our money, we realized we hadn't brought any cash.  Joanna paid with the credit card; apparently, it is not possible to put a tip on a charge card in Italy.  We asked the server, and he verified this.  I asked him what time he got off, and he told me at seven tonight.  I promised him that I would run to the nearest ATM (Joanna and I would need some cash anyway), and I would return before he got off.  I'm sure he was doubtful, but he would find out, soon enough, that I was committed.  I am, after all, a server myself.  Tips are my living.
     I told Joanna to take Roman to the beach.  They could play together while I took the "train" to Cannigione to get some cash.  I could have some needed alone time, and Joanna and Roman could have fun at the beach.
     On the "train", I sat in the caboose by myself.  I enjoyed the seaside road as we snaked our way to the small town.  Topless girls were laying on the beach catching sun in places that it normally didn't shine.  Elderly couples walked hand-in-hand along the sidewalk.  Diners sat on patios, sipping on wine and looking out at the sea where a spectacle of one-man sailboats were navigating around some buoys.  They appeared to be boys undergoing some nautical exercises.  I was in such a different and beautiful world.
     In Cannigione, I quickly got the cash and had an hour to kill before the "train" returned.  I walked by the seafront and saw merchants setting up tables and stands for all kinds of interesting merchandise.  Apparently, after the sun went down, tourists came here to shop.  I would tell Joanna about this, we could do some shopping and strolling on our last night here.  I went up to the place where the "train" would be picking me up.  I ordered a beer and took a moment for me.  I think I may have drink three beers as I awaited the "train" to return, and I really enjoyed the quiet time that I used to watch the different people coming and going.
     Back at the resort, I walked back to the restaurant.  Seven o'clock was almost nigh as I strolled into the diner where everyone was busy cleaning up for the night.  Our server saw me approaching and intercepted me with a smile and a firm handshake.  "Well, I hope you have enjoy Sardinia," he said.
     "Oh, I have," I told him.  "I have."  I handed him a rather generous tip, and then went off to find my wife and son.
     Joanna agreed with me about shopping one last night in Cannigione.  We went there and strolled casually around.  I bought a beaded necklace for myself (it was the only thing that I had gotten for myself).  I liked the uniqueness of  the different necklaces that I had gotten in the places that we had been.  I still had a cool-blue one from Crete; and, now, I had a neat black-and-white one from Sardinia.  Joanna got a shell ring which broke the next day.  I promised that I would get her a new one (I still need to do that).  Roman got a whistle that sounded like a bird.  None of the gifts were very pricey, but they were special to us.
     The next day, we boarded the bus to Olbia where we boarded a plane and headed back to Poland.  Mason Jennings wrote that "there's a tourist in every heart that just wants to stay, and there's a tourist in every heart that just wants to go home."  Isn't that so true when you're on vacation?  I love being away for a while, but a time comes when I start missing home.  And that time had come.

     The plane ride back to Warsaw went without incident.  However, once in Warsaw, we had a couple of hiccups.  Our luggage took forever to come.  We waited, along with all the other impatient passengers and an impatient Roman, at least an hour, for it to come out of that conveyor system.  We started to wonder if it was ever going to.
     When at long last it did, Joanna had to pee badly.  We looked around as we were heading out for a restroom.  I don't know what's up with that Warsaw airport, but restrooms just aren't that plentiful.  We found one, but it was "closed for cleaning".  We walked for what felt like a mile, when, at last, we found one.  Joanna started to go in when a cleaning lady blocked her with a custodial cart and a sign that said something in Polish (surely, closed for cleaning).  I was mad.  We had the same situation when we had left for Sardinia.  I said (in English, so I'm not sure if she understood me), "Joanna, screw that.  Just go in anyway.  This is ridiculous."
     "Oh, I am," my wife said.  She pushed her way past the cart as the lady was telling her something in Polish.  Joanna spoke to her in her native tongue in a way that I knew very well.  Even though I didn't know, word-for-word, what was being said, I still knew.  "Every restroom is closed for cleaning.  I have to go.  Move, or I will go right here."  Passersby watched us with interested expressions; I held Roman's hand and smiled and nodded.  Fuck 'em.
     Joanna went in as the lady threw up her hands in exasperation.  When my wife came out, she was smiling.  So was I.
     After the shuttle service took us to the parking lot where the van was parked, we started the long drive back to Kalwaria.  I remembered seeing a McDonald's on the outskirts of Warsaw; I asked Joanna to hit the drive-through there.  I don't really even like McDonald's normally, certainly not at home.  I bet I don't eat there twice a year.  But, for some reason, every time that we've come back from one of our "expeditions", I always crave a large, nasty Big Mac and some fries.  Joanna agreed; and, before long, we all had bellies filled with fast-food goodness.
     The long drive went without incident.  At home, we were anxious to hug and kiss our daughter; but, Amelia acted like she could care less whether or not we were there.  She appeared perfectly content with Ba Ba and Dza Dza.
     We only had a couple of days left in Poland.  We spent them getting some last minute gifts and saying goodbye to the Madej family.  Those goodbyes are so fucking hard.  And they get harder every time.  Now that I have a family of my own, I can better empathize with the thought of saying goodbye to a child that I might not see for another year (or even more).  It makes me sad, too.  I always feel like the villain taking away their family.  But they don't treat me like a villain.  They hug me just as hard as they hug everyone else.
     And Joanna, out of consideration for her parents' concerns, always waits until we're out of sight before she starts crying...

--  Don't forget to like Parenting with Lightsabers here.
-- And if you liked this story, try reading something from our Polish vacation like "Flying to Poland"