6/6/13 - "The State of the Union"
Blogger's Note: The due date is 9 days away. I'm ready to get this damn show on the road. In fact, it seems that this is all I can focus on lately. I'm writing this with absolutely no direction. No idea where I'm going with it. I just need a filler, and the best I can come up with is...
Roman's communication has been vastly improving over the past couple of weeks. He's finally starting to talk. Now, there's still some "diddly-iddly-diddly" between his words, but at least his gibberish has become book-ended by actual words.
Which has helped us crest that Potty-Training Hill. We've regressed just a bit on that front. Trying to potty train a child that rarely speaks or responds to instruction has proven to be challenging. One day Roman will be a perfect little gentleman. He'll run to his potty, pull his pants down, and proudly go (followed, of course, by high-five's and cookies). The next day, he'll stand in the middle of the front room (as we're screaming pleas for him to stop) and pee with no apparent concern. We try not to admonish him for "accidents" as I'm told this is a big "no-no"; instead, we try to reward him for "good behavior."
We've put away all his diapers (and pull-ups), because when he wears these he depends on them and won't even consider going to the potty. Also, we've just now begun to take him places in "big-boy" underwear. We bring a change of clothes and emergency equipment along, but we're trying to get him in the habit of using the bathroom no matter where we are. He's just turned three, and it's past time we've wrapped up this leg of the journey.
Often I'm asked, "so, how do you think Roman is gonna take this new baby?" To which my response is, "I don't know.. I'm not sure if he gets it." I really don't think Roman understands that there's a new member about to join our ensemble, but once she arrives, I suspect he will be rather jealous. He gets all the attention now, and I'm sure he won't much care for having to share the spotlight. Over time, however, I'm sure he'll come around.
I find myself trying to spend more time with him; I want him to know I love him so that when Amelia arrives, he won't be as jealous. And, of course, after she arrives, I plan on setting aside some special "Roman" time so that he'll know he's still as important as ever to me.
Lastly, the other big challenge we're having with Roman right now is how he acts in public -- specifically restaurants. I couldn't tell you how many times, in the pre-Roman era, that I saw some screaming-ass kid polluting the whole going-out-to-eat experience with yelling and screaming. I'd think to myself (as we all do) '...if that were my kid...'
And, now I have one of those kids. Firstly, he's not that bad. He doesn't usually do the whole screaming and yelling thing. His problem is sitting still (don't know where he gets that). And, well, here's the process...
1. Selecting the Restaurant - some restaurants are just off-limits! Some people just don't get that you shouldn't take a toddler to a candle-lit cafè when people are trying to "shake off" the noise and distractions in their lives and get away. We know better than that. We don't do that. Also, a restaurant that might be ok to take your child for lunch may not be ok to take your child for dinner. And many are on the borderline. A place like Apple Bee's comes to mind. I would take Roman to Apple Bee's for lunch perhaps (and leave if he starts getting stupid), but I wouldn't take him there for dinner (because I know my child). But, if you have a nice, well-mannered kid that knows how to shut-the-hell-up, then a place like that would be ok I think.
2. Getting a Table - working at a restaurant myself, I hate when people "demand" a table. But, with a toddler, having the right location can be key. A booth is preferable as we can "trap" our child inside. I always request politely and offer to wait patiently if I need to.
3. Distracting the Little Asshole - have something for him/her to do. Colors (some restaurants even offer them), a cell phone (electronic device) to play with/watch movies, and small toys can save your ever-loving life.
4. Food - Get the Little Asshole's food first. A hungry kid is a screaming kid. Getting him fed quickly can change the entire outcome. Also, after he's eaten, the blood-flow to the brain lessens making him a bit groggy and this can relax him. With a generous amount of fairy-dust luck, he might even fall asleep.
5. Discipline - Now when the Little Asshole starts acting up is when things get complicated. You can't sit there and let him/her disrupt the entire restaurant, so you have to do something. What-that-is exactly, I'm not sure. (Option 1) - Warn him/her that trouble is on its way - this usually doesn't work, but it's still always the first step. (Option 2) - Spank him/her. A good open-palm swat on the hind-end can sometimes get the attention of the Little Asshole. Sometimes (but rarely) this works. But you have to endure the stares and remarks from Miss Goody Two-Shoes that's eating at the table next to you -- (...and I don't know what she's eating exactly, but it looks like shit). (Option 3) - Take him/her to the bathroom. If all the above fails, take him/her to the bathroom and proceed to beat your child to a bloody pulp. Make sure that the electric hand dryer is on to muffle the sounds and then lock the door. The problem with this option is the time it takes for your child to regain composure. Suddenly, the Little Asshole is yelling, screaming, and crying even worse than he/she was to begin with... and, Miss Goody Two-Shoes will have her cell phone camera ready-and-waiting with a certain YouTube hit when you finally leave the restroom. (...now, in case anyone is wondering, I'm playing. I don't "beat" my child -- just to be perfectly clear, the most Roman has ever received from me is a couple of open palm swats that hurt me worse than it did him...)
6. Leave - Finally, once you've ascertained that nothing else is going to work, you have to leave. Unfortunately this is the step that I believe most people fail to follow; if your child is beyond discipline (and it happens to the best of us), then leave. Otherwise, you're ruining the experience for other people that have paid for a good meal and a nice ambiance. One parent takes the child to the car while the other parent grabs some to-go boxes, pays the tab, and tips the server double of what you normally would (at least that's what i do, because I'm in the business...)
So, anyway, that's all I got this week.... c'mon Amelia.. Daddy's tired of waiting...
Blogger's Note: The due date is 9 days away. I'm ready to get this damn show on the road. In fact, it seems that this is all I can focus on lately. I'm writing this with absolutely no direction. No idea where I'm going with it. I just need a filler, and the best I can come up with is...
Roman's communication has been vastly improving over the past couple of weeks. He's finally starting to talk. Now, there's still some "diddly-iddly-diddly" between his words, but at least his gibberish has become book-ended by actual words.
Which has helped us crest that Potty-Training Hill. We've regressed just a bit on that front. Trying to potty train a child that rarely speaks or responds to instruction has proven to be challenging. One day Roman will be a perfect little gentleman. He'll run to his potty, pull his pants down, and proudly go (followed, of course, by high-five's and cookies). The next day, he'll stand in the middle of the front room (as we're screaming pleas for him to stop) and pee with no apparent concern. We try not to admonish him for "accidents" as I'm told this is a big "no-no"; instead, we try to reward him for "good behavior."
We've put away all his diapers (and pull-ups), because when he wears these he depends on them and won't even consider going to the potty. Also, we've just now begun to take him places in "big-boy" underwear. We bring a change of clothes and emergency equipment along, but we're trying to get him in the habit of using the bathroom no matter where we are. He's just turned three, and it's past time we've wrapped up this leg of the journey.
Often I'm asked, "so, how do you think Roman is gonna take this new baby?" To which my response is, "I don't know.. I'm not sure if he gets it." I really don't think Roman understands that there's a new member about to join our ensemble, but once she arrives, I suspect he will be rather jealous. He gets all the attention now, and I'm sure he won't much care for having to share the spotlight. Over time, however, I'm sure he'll come around.
I find myself trying to spend more time with him; I want him to know I love him so that when Amelia arrives, he won't be as jealous. And, of course, after she arrives, I plan on setting aside some special "Roman" time so that he'll know he's still as important as ever to me.Lastly, the other big challenge we're having with Roman right now is how he acts in public -- specifically restaurants. I couldn't tell you how many times, in the pre-Roman era, that I saw some screaming-ass kid polluting the whole going-out-to-eat experience with yelling and screaming. I'd think to myself (as we all do) '...if that were my kid...'
And, now I have one of those kids. Firstly, he's not that bad. He doesn't usually do the whole screaming and yelling thing. His problem is sitting still (don't know where he gets that). And, well, here's the process...
1. Selecting the Restaurant - some restaurants are just off-limits! Some people just don't get that you shouldn't take a toddler to a candle-lit cafè when people are trying to "shake off" the noise and distractions in their lives and get away. We know better than that. We don't do that. Also, a restaurant that might be ok to take your child for lunch may not be ok to take your child for dinner. And many are on the borderline. A place like Apple Bee's comes to mind. I would take Roman to Apple Bee's for lunch perhaps (and leave if he starts getting stupid), but I wouldn't take him there for dinner (because I know my child). But, if you have a nice, well-mannered kid that knows how to shut-the-hell-up, then a place like that would be ok I think.2. Getting a Table - working at a restaurant myself, I hate when people "demand" a table. But, with a toddler, having the right location can be key. A booth is preferable as we can "trap" our child inside. I always request politely and offer to wait patiently if I need to.
3. Distracting the Little Asshole - have something for him/her to do. Colors (some restaurants even offer them), a cell phone (electronic device) to play with/watch movies, and small toys can save your ever-loving life.
4. Food - Get the Little Asshole's food first. A hungry kid is a screaming kid. Getting him fed quickly can change the entire outcome. Also, after he's eaten, the blood-flow to the brain lessens making him a bit groggy and this can relax him. With a generous amount of fairy-dust luck, he might even fall asleep.
5. Discipline - Now when the Little Asshole starts acting up is when things get complicated. You can't sit there and let him/her disrupt the entire restaurant, so you have to do something. What-that-is exactly, I'm not sure. (Option 1) - Warn him/her that trouble is on its way - this usually doesn't work, but it's still always the first step. (Option 2) - Spank him/her. A good open-palm swat on the hind-end can sometimes get the attention of the Little Asshole. Sometimes (but rarely) this works. But you have to endure the stares and remarks from Miss Goody Two-Shoes that's eating at the table next to you -- (...and I don't know what she's eating exactly, but it looks like shit). (Option 3) - Take him/her to the bathroom. If all the above fails, take him/her to the bathroom and proceed to beat your child to a bloody pulp. Make sure that the electric hand dryer is on to muffle the sounds and then lock the door. The problem with this option is the time it takes for your child to regain composure. Suddenly, the Little Asshole is yelling, screaming, and crying even worse than he/she was to begin with... and, Miss Goody Two-Shoes will have her cell phone camera ready-and-waiting with a certain YouTube hit when you finally leave the restroom. (...now, in case anyone is wondering, I'm playing. I don't "beat" my child -- just to be perfectly clear, the most Roman has ever received from me is a couple of open palm swats that hurt me worse than it did him...)6. Leave - Finally, once you've ascertained that nothing else is going to work, you have to leave. Unfortunately this is the step that I believe most people fail to follow; if your child is beyond discipline (and it happens to the best of us), then leave. Otherwise, you're ruining the experience for other people that have paid for a good meal and a nice ambiance. One parent takes the child to the car while the other parent grabs some to-go boxes, pays the tab, and tips the server double of what you normally would (at least that's what i do, because I'm in the business...)
So, anyway, that's all I got this week.... c'mon Amelia.. Daddy's tired of waiting...
1 comment:
What on Earth would you do without a cell phone?! LOL! Ryan is 20, no cell phones to appease him as a toddler. :) Be careful how much tv/video/tablet time you give a toddler/child. They are looking at brain stimulation and the relat. to ADHD. (They get used to that rapid fire stim in the brain, crave it).
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