Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Communication Breakdown

                                                           3/27/13 - Communication Breakdown 

     As I was brainstorming this week on exactly how I might approach this week's promised subject of potty training, I began to realize that the core of the subject (at least for us) isn't potty training...  but communication.  Roman will be 3 in less than a month, and we still haven't quite crested that potty training hill.  We're almost there, but not quite.  And I feel a bit guilty about this, but it's not for lack of trying.  So where are we in the process?  Roman will go to the potty himself if he's in "big boy" underwear when we're at home.  He'll even take it to the regular toilet and flush it himself when finished (that's his favorite part).  But once we put him in pull-ups or any kind of disposable diaper material, he'll go in it.  So.. I know you're thinking, so just put him in big boy underwear...  well, the problem is, when we're not at home, he won't communicate his need to go.  In fact, communication with Roman is the core of many problems.  The kid just won't talk.  

     This communication breakdown is especially frustrating because of Roman's size.  At two years of age, he was towering over kids already in school.  He was in the 98 percentile for height, and his doctor even commented that he was one of the biggest kids (for his age) that he'd had as a patient.  So, when we're at the playground or the library, and other kids or even adults are talking to him or asking him something, he'd just look at them like they're doing something interesting.

     The kid is beginning to talk; his vocabulary increases every day.  For quite some time now, he's been able to point at a letter (upper-case or lower-case) and say what it is; he can count to about 15 in Polish and English.  And he sings along with his favorite songs/tv shows...   ...but he just doesn't communicate verbally.  Now, I'm sure many people are thinking.. ummm... Duane... he's 3!!!  yes, but when we're around other kids his age, or even younger; I see and hear them communicating needs or desires.  He responds to instructions -- just not verbally.  I can't tell him to say a word and him repeat it.   Or ask him a question and him answer it. 

     Anybody around him affirms our belief that he is very analytical.  He has these Disney-themed Cars puzzles (there's 5 of these 16-piece puzzles) that he puts together.  When we first got it for him, we would give him the pieces for one puzzle and he would slowly piece it together.  Within a couple of days, he could put all the pieces of all the puzzles in a pile, and could pick out the pieces as needed and have all five images together as quickly as he could grab the pieces.  The point is there's certainly not an intelligence problem.

     So, what is the problem?  Obviously, living in a multi-cultural, bilingual household has probably got the boy a bit confused.  Joanna speaks primarily Polish to him; and, I, of course, speak primarily English.  He understands both very well.  In fact, I think if we're giving him instructions, he responds to Polish better (probably because he sees Joanna as more of the authority figure -- I don't know why that is...).  So, when I'm giving him instructions, I usually use the little bit of Polish I know.  And when casually speaking, I use English.  But I don't think the problem is that complicated...  
                                             Roman following Polish instructions...


     I think that, somewhere along the track, Roman began to think that by verbally speaking jibberish, that he was talking.  He's beginning to throw some words in the mix, but most of what comes out of his mouth is nonsensical...  Here's a video of him doing it at about a year old...  (fast forward through it if you want, you'll get the idea pretty quickly...)



     I believe that he sees and hears us moving our mouths and making noises, and somewhere in that toddler head of his, he believes that by imitating us, that he is talking.  Joanna constantly informs me that all kids are different and that her brother didn't begin to speak until age 5 (...and he is one of the most intelligent, respectable people I know).  So I'm sure he'll come around...  but, in the meantime, I'm incapable of reading him a book, watching anything besides Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (hot dog, hot dog, hot-diggity dog), or even teaching him fun words.
     In conclusion, here's a video of something Roman's been doing lately.  He'll grab this picture frame (it's a picture of my hands colorfully playing a piano) and tilt it back and forth and say, "Caillou, Saishu" (or something phonetically similar)... he also says something that I just figured out what it was.  When Mickey calls Toodles on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he asks the audience, "Whaddayasay??  Oh, Toodles..."  And Roman was taking this picture frame and saying something like, "whaddayasay?  wah-dee-go, wah-dee-go.."  I just recently figured out he was saying, "whaddayasay... rectangle, rectangle.." as I noticed him doing something similar with other shapes "whaddayasay... circle, circle.."  
     Now I'll give a Parenting with Lightsabers brownie point to whomever can watch this video and tell me what he means by "Caillou Saishu" (or whatever it is).  Brownie points are good for a free fortune cookie with any meal purchased at Chongs, a free drink refill at McDonald's (dine-in only), or a free napkin at Cinemark theatres (Paducah location only).  Just tell them you got it on Parenting with Lightsabers and give them the code word, "Baa Baa Black Sheep."
     Here's a video of Roman saying "Caillou Saishu" (and, yes, I know that Caillou is a cartoon, and he does watch it sometimes -- but I'm not sure if he's even saying Caillou...) ..and, yes it could be jibberish, but I have a feeling it isn't...
     Tune in next week for, "Forecast:  Baby Showers."   And for anyone interested, the baby shower is next Wednesday, April 3, 3pm-5pm at Rivercrest in Harrah's hotel, Metropolis... the baby still needs a big-screen tv, a bowling ball engraved with the letters "D-U-A-N-E", and a Playstation 3..
     


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